"My sister rode in a car with a boy.. now its ****ed everything up!"

[Dutch_Schafer]

Okay, hi everybody....long-time reader, friend of the Digital Rich, first time poster...(bar for voting to kick Solaris in the trailer survivor 4)

So, here is my dilemma.....my 17 year old sister has told my parents and I have just found out that she is PREGNANT.....to a guy that I have been telling my parents is bad news for years. I really don't like this guy....it's really gonna ruin her life...and my parents as well....and my grandparents too

She has decided to keep it......against all sense and logic she is against getting an abortion, it's not a matter of money, my mum would happily pay the money for it 3 times over....she's got a lot going for her, other than her choice in boys....

I just want to post to see if anyone has any opinions, views, advice.......

Actually, a bit of a poll wouldn't go astray.....for or against abortion? I know it's a bit of a touchy subject...but this would be an interesting statistic.

Alright, thanks for putting up with my crap.....please don't flame me for posting a serious topic...i encourage anything that will make my day more humourous though, so movie references are encouraged.....

Thanks....

[carl]

Well personally I am totally against abortion and I think that your sister has made the right choice in that regard. She made the mistake of sleeping with the guy so the baby shouldn't be killed because of it. All I can suggest is that you be there for your sister now because over the years if this guy doesn't stick around then she will need support. Try and forgive your sister even though you warned her about the guy.

I've never experienced this with my sister but when my brother got his girlfriend pregnant the parents, out of racism, disowned her. Even with my brother she nearly didn't cope because she was so inexperienced and it was only the support of her brothers and sisters that helped her to cope.


As for the guy have words with him. Remind him that he has responcibilities, unless you feel that the guy is dangerous, in which case just be there for your sister and it should turn out OK.

[wirm]

I happen to be pro choice. Let's not get into any arguments here.

Anyways, Moviebuff is right in that now is the time to show your support for your sister. It may or may not have been a good idea for her to hang out with this guy. I'm not acquainted with the full story (her side), so I can't make a fair decision on that. But what's done is done.

She's made up her mind, and is probably ready to stand by her decision to the end.

[Matrix]

Well if she Keeps the Baby or not it is her Decision and if you are a friendly and beloved Brother go and Support her cause that is that what i think she needs...
I would make the same decision and keep the baby...and i know what i am talking about because well it is a old story but several years ago i made a pregnant test and it turns that i am pregnant and my first decision was that i will keep the baby...luckily it turns out that the pregnant test had an error and well so i am not pregnant but it was good to see who supports you in your friend circle and who not but luckily everybody would support me.

[KyleG]

?

[trailergod]

i am PRO LIFE, PRO PEACE ...

she made a good choice to keep the baby.... and even if she is young and that it would change her life completely, it will be a great experience..... she played around and she must learn to be responsible and suffer the consequences... killing another human being is not the solution....there is no greater satisfaction in this world than to give life to another human being !!!!.....

just give her all the support she needs and it will be ok :D

[guevara]

I agree with GermanFinne and Tisoy - support her no matter for what she decides - i got also two brothers and to support me at my desicions is the best way the brother should do...
Keep smiling Dutch Scahfer

[Dutch_Schafer]

Thanks guys, I see why Rich talks to you guys as much as he does....

I'm really at a loss as to what to think at the moment....so every word of advice is more to consider and to help with making a decision about how I feel.

The biggest problem is that if she keeps it, she will not be able to complete her grade 12 schooling, due to the fact that it's due at exactly the same time.....she had dreams, ambitions and hopes, now she seems to have thrown them out the window, all because she seems to want to be this romeo and juliet with this guy....

Anyhow, thanks for listening and contributing guys....

Tim

[editman]

Originally posted by Dutch_Schafer
she had dreams, ambitions and hopes, now she seems to have thrown them out the window, all because she seems to want to be this romeo and juliet with this guy....

That's her choice. It's either the baby or her future. If she choose to throw it all away, so be it. But make sure you carry the message across to her: it's all her own choice, so don't ever regret it whenever the baby's crying waking everyone up at 3 am in the morning.

Personally I am a selfish person, and I reckon if it's not meant to be, it's never meant to be and should have never happened. That goes with love, success, and life. Sometimes it's better to make a dictating decision for another person, rather than having him all grown up filling with hatred against his/her parents, asking the question to himself/herself "Why did you let me born to this stinking world!?" every. Single. Day.

[Stormwalker]

i have deliberatly not replied to this, since i have already spent a long time talking to dutch about the situation, she hasnt really found herself in a good situation since if she keeps the child, she risks her own and the babies health because of her age (according to my own research, teenage pregnancies are more likely to result in a baby that is mal nutritioned or born with a birth defect), whilst at the same time if she has an abortion she puts herself in danger, because her body has already started to prepare itself for birth, and an abrupt termination can apparently cause further health problems down the track...

but i would like to thank all of you for your own opinions, and proving me right, that this is one of the most friendly forums on the net, dutch needed a place to ask a question anonymously in order to keep a promise to his family and i suggested here... so thanks :)

[Marcus]

Yeah it is a really messed up situation and I'm kinda glad this didn't turn into a "pro life vs pro choice" thread because really....it's not our choice and your sis already did chose to keep it.

I'm sure if you've been speaking about this guy to your parents for years, she knows how you feel about him. Right now that's not what she needs. You don't have to be all buddy-buddy with him but be there for your sister.

The school thing sucks. Is there any way she can take a year off, have your parents hook her up for some free babysitting for another year and at least finish highschool? Finishing highschool would make a WORLD of difference.

Make sure you support her and the kid and at the very least respect the father. Think of it this way:

You're going to be an uncle.

Somebody must be able to relate here - you have a really cool uncle that would teach you magic and give you advice and show you things? The uncle who was the coolest guy in the world when he was introducing you to Star Wars or teaching you to play Cribbage? Don't be bitter - be that uncle.

[blugh]

My thoughts on abortion...

In 90% of cases, no. The only time I think that abortion is ok is when the mother won't be able to adequately care for her needs. In those cases, we need abortions that are covered by medicare and free of any stigma, or maybe just adoptions... I think, if some rich girl is too irresponsible to be safe about it, she can deal with the consequences. But when poorer people, who can't support a child, get preggered, it's hard to say no to abortion.

[Dutch_Schafer]

You know what? I just realised something....my Uncle DID introduce me to Star Wars....and that's something I really cherish......

Something to think about, definitely.....


Thanks...

[Marcus]

Originally posted by Dutch_Schafer
You know what? I just realised something....my Uncle DID introduce me to Star Wars....and that's something I really cherish......

Something to think about, definitely.....


Thanks...

Glad I hit something :) MY uncle told me about Star Wars but the BIG thing was "The Day The Earth Stood Still". He introduced me to black & white movies. The first one I enjoyed. And Cribbage. And his words of advice:


Uncle Larry says:
It ain't over till it's over.

And that has stuck with me. I'm sure you can be there for the kid like that. Good luck.

[radstar]

this is a little late and you've already got enough advices. but i think abortion is WRONG!! abortion is killing a human being. it tears the baby apart and the baby can feel it and suffers. i've read a story about abortion and it had details about the baby's feelings during abortion and ever since i read it... i've always been against abortion.

ur sister should definitely have the baby. but she should only decide if she wants to keep it or give it up for adoption. since she is too young and she probably doesn't have the money to take care of the kid and the time in her life is not right to have a kid... then she should give it away for adoption. NEVER HAVE AN ABORTION! but yah... like everyone is saying. support her and be there w/ her. she's very lucky that her mother is willing to support her and help her thru this. and she is even luckier to have her WHOLE family especially you to support her. so always make sure ur there for her. hope everything works out. :)

[Vader75]

I feel your pain there, Dutch. My sister was 17 when she got knocked up by her dumb-ass boyfriend. I understand all those emotions that you are feeling now. I wish I could tell you that things won't be so hard for her, but I can't; it just wouldn't be true. That's why everyone's telling you to be there for her.

On the abortion thing---I am really against the idea. I say that because I am adopted. I was EXTREMELY lucky to not be aborted and to be given up for adoption because my birthmother already had an abortion right before she had me and she couldn't go through with another one. I ended up with OUTSTANDING adoptive parents. Granted, not all adopted children are so lucky, but the vast majority are. So, my feelings on abortion are quite biased. I just think that there are a lot of loving parents waiting to adopt children, but are having to wait longer because of abortion. Hell, my parents had to wait 11 years, and that was in the mid 70's! Can you imagine the wait now?

[Stormwalker]

Just letting everyone know that Dutch's sister gave birth the other day to a perfectly healthy baby boy named Maddox! :D

The official B'Day is 20/10/2003

[Jack Stoney]

I would like to say a lot of things about this abortion thing and about the comments of the people of this forum, but I don't want to turn this sensible thing into a fight.

As far as I'm concerned, she can do what ever she wants. and that's the key element. Except the fact that she is 17 and doesn't know much about life.....

P.S. I'm against over-population of this planet.

[amr.ramadan]

Then congratulations for her.

Stoney, over-population is a matter that should be solved before someone gets pregnant, not after it.

Her keeping the baby was the right thing. Her having the baby in the first place was not right. But since it was too late, over-population is not significant.

[carl]

I know, I was reading an article in the paper the other week, and a woman had to get a clearer ultra sound than the standard, in order to check for birth defects, and the photo's showed the baby Smiling! This was a child well withing the age an abortion would be allowed, it was happy and felt safe and secure in it's mothers womb. All that stuff about babies being unable to smile untill a few months after birth is crap, they just don't smile because of the trauma of birth and being taken from a secure enviorement into this world. In the womb a baby feels happy, safe and secure under the protection of it's mother, so noone has the right to take that living thing and kill it just because she "isn't ready to be a mother!" Anyone not eady for parenthood take this advice, "Stop screwing around!!!" You made your bed and now you can raise a child in it, and if your a really bad parent then put it up for adoption where people unable to have children of their own can raise it!

Tim, tell your sister congratulations on the baby. It shows real maturity to go through with the birth, hope you've taken our advice and she's now sitting with her feet up while you cook the eggs for 6 minutes and 22 seconds, on a heat of 23 degree's. :D

-Edit-Oh and the above paragraph was not aimed at you or your sister, it was aimed at my cousin.

[trailergod]

Originally posted by Jack Stoney


P.S. I'm against over-population of this planet.

yeah, so lets kill all unborn babies :rolleyes:

[Stormwalker]

Tim, tell your sister congratulations on the baby. It shows real maturity to go through with the birth, hope you've taken our advice and she's now sitting with her feet up while you cook the eggs for 6 minutes and 22 seconds, on a heat of 23 degree's

he is out of town at the moment.. so i am sure he will raise an eye brow when he gets back.. ahhah i only hope i am there to witness his initial confusion! :D

[radstar]

Maddox? as in Angelina Jolie's son?

BTW, congrats for her. i'm happy she made the right decision even tho it must be hard on her... is the father around?

[redbear]

congrats !! it is hard to be a parent these days and i am not envious of being a new parent. i was about two years ago when it was very overwhelming. now i am like a pro. (until he becomes a teenager) and tell her it will get better and become alot of fun.

just the other day, i was teaching my son how to use a lightsaber....

http://rwittschen.com/01.jpg

http://rwittschen.com/02.jpg

i just wished the wounds would heal quicker ( :) )

[WorkShed]

Wow, this is a "great" movie topic.

Why is this even in this forum?!

[Stormwalker]

because once upon a time.. there was a thread.. general chatter.. this thread was split.. movie related, non movie related...

however ... on thread contained all the old threads that had slipped back into the archives.. such as this.. everytime one of these threads is bumped it appears here.. sooner or later a mod will move it to the new section.. or it will just mellow out and die.. until the kids first birhtday.. and then ill bump it again... that good enough for ya..

[Jack Stoney]

trailergod, said: yeah, so lets kill all unborn babies

You pretty much understund the point in my little P.S
A growing thing inside woman's belly isn't a baby, not before the six weeks period during an abortion can be made. It's just a little thing size of you thumb that would have eventually became a baby and a human being.

The worst thing about doing an abortion is the idea and (if you have seen) the way they do it. I don't have an opinnion about abortion, I just think that if a woman wants to do it, it should possible. I wouldn't go accusing her of anything.

[carl]

Originally posted by Jack Stoney
You pretty much understund the point in my little P.S
A growing thing inside woman's belly isn't a baby, not before the six weeks period during an abortion can be made. It's just a little thing size of you thumb that would have eventually became a baby and a human being. That's the great thing about this world we live in. You can go out and have sex with whoever you like without worries. If you do get pregnant then accepting the consequences of your Choice is irrelevant becaus, hell, the baby is too small to be noticeable so why not just kill it.
Great philosophy to live by. You know I chose to buy a load of DVDs and got myself into a bit of a debt, is it OK if I go shoot my bank manager?

[editman]

Originally posted by carl
Anyone not eady for parenthood take this advice, "Stop screwing around!!!"

Or use a condom and contraceptive pills.

You can't have fun without responsibilities - either responsibilities to be safe and cautious or the other.

[enkydu]

I know I'm new and therefore most of you probably don't care what I think, but congrats to Dutch's sister. It's a bumpy ride she has ahead of her, but given the fact that she had the strength to carry Maddox to full term even when people were suggesting the abortion option, I'm sure she'll do just fine.

My sister-in-law had her first kid when she was 16. Freaked her family out. The boyfriend was real bad news (was charged by the state with a felony). That was eight years ago. Her life isn't perfect, but the joy that her son has brought into her life has been incredible. It's not easy being young, single, and a parent...but the good definitely outways the bad.

Help her out, Dutch; she'll need it. And, trust me, the time you and your sister give Maddox will return 10-fold.

[Dutch_Schafer]

Hi Guys, Thanks for your kind words for my sister. It certainly has been a wild ride for nine months, but after seeing Maddox last monday, I knew my sister had made the right decision. He is an awesome little guy. This morning however, he SHAT ON ME!!!! I didnt have him on my knee for more than 10 seconds and SQUIRT, EVERYWHERE.....GOD DAMN!

Thanks for all the advice, everyone.

[chizzace]

Originally posted by Dutch_Schafer
Hi Guys, Thanks for your kind words for my sister. It certainly has been a wild ride for nine months, but after seeing Maddox last monday, I knew my sister had made the right decision. He is an awesome little guy. This morning however, he SHAT ON ME!!!! I didnt have him on my knee for more than 10 seconds and SQUIRT, EVERYWHERE.....GOD DAMN!

Thanks for all the advice, everyone.
It's good to see you and the baby are getting along, and getting to know each other! You can always tell him when he is much much older, and when you are an older, wiser Jedi master (no pun intended), "Hey nephew... I remember the very first time you shat on me." ;) Anyways, we'll always be around for ya for any advice. That's what families are for.

[Jake]

this would not happen in the original matrix design, but this one is flawed so you'll just have to use some Paper Street Co. soap - I LOVE SOAP !!!