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  1. #1
    j7wild Guest

    Question WHY DID the Chicken Cross the Road?!?




    BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!

    JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

    HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure – right from Day One! – that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn’t about me.

    GEORGE W. BUSH: We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

    DICK CHENEY:
    Where’s my gun?

    COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

    BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

    AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

    JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken’s intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

    AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

    DR. PHIL:
    The problem we have here is that this chicken won’t realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he’s acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.

    OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

    ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

    NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he’s guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

    PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

    MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer’s Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

    DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not been told.

    ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

    JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can’t you people see the plain truth? That’s why they call it the ‘other side.’ Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like ‘the other side.’ That chicken should not be crossing the road. It’s as plain and as simple as that.

    GRANDPA: In my day we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

    BARBARA WALTERS: Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

    ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

    JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

    BILL GATES:
    I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra…#@&&^(C%..........reboot.

    ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

    COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

  2. #2
    Join Date
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    What The Hell? :d
    Me angry! Where´s my food!

    My DVD Collection, My Blu-ray collection

  3. #3
    Join Date
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    This is an old running gag...
    *´¨)
    ¸.~´¸.~*´¨) ¸.~*¨)
    (¸.~´ (¸.~´ `(•.°)~
    Occupation: Flying. The trick to flying is missing the ground.
    My Listology profile

  4. #4
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    What happened, ran out of babe pictures
    Oh I get it now, the next post will be a scantily feathered chicken, right ?


    I can't see through walls, but I can kick your ass.

  5. #5
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    There is something similar, the "You have two cows" jokes. Some of them:

    A SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.

    AN AMERICAN REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?

    AN AMERICAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.

    COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk.

    DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.

    BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain.

    AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

    AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

    A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

    A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

    AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship both of them.

    A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported on them.

    http://politicalhumor.about.com/libr...wspolitics.htm

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