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  1. #11
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    PART I: THE 1968 CLASSIC - C2



    Anyhow, you can still find the regular release on Ebay and Amazon for five dollars or so. You just can't find it now in brick and mortar shops.

    Granted, somewhere in the U.S., a Best Buy might still have their exclusive on the shelf.

    - - -

    SOUNDTRACKS PART VI



    Here's a true oddity, not really a soundtrack, but I'm gonna allow it. In 2009 400 Lonely Things released "Tonight Of The Living Dead". It was by pure accident that I learned of it. This is a concept album based off the library music used for NOTLD.

    The CD was over a year in the making; pet project of 400 Lonely Things. A collage of treated audio from the horror classic. There is no dialog, just music and sound effects - remixed. The stuff is dark ambient, experimental music; sixty-five minutes.

    The twelve page booklet has a foreword from actress Judy O'Dea; who was given an advance copy. The album has four dedications. The imagery to O'Dea. Audio to the late Karl Hardman. Music box to Kyra Schon. And the concept album to George A. Romero. I'm glad I bought this; originally sold for $10.00, now it goes for $12.00 from Pimalia records.

    1. It Begins
    2. Tonight
    3. This Old House
    4. No Answer
    5. The Music Box
    6. Cricket Window
    7. Cellar Company
    8. Another Fire Always Smiles

    Wait, I'm not doing this justice. Here are two excerpt from the booklet:

    Using mutated samples from the film itself (many with their excellent foley work intact) as the only ingredients, and weaving these treatments into a subtle and creepy, dialog-free, instrumental companion.
    400 Lonely Things is Craig Varian.

    Tonight Of The Living Dead is concerned with the more understated and haunting moments of this movie, focusing on the fragility of "Barbra" and drawing out the sense of bewildering relentlessness and hypnotic inevitability of waiting in an old farm house for the world to end.


    In case you're curious, the album cover is a mixture of two frames from the film; the moment before Barbra runs inside the farm house. At first I thought that picture was something they snapped for the CD. Nope, two frames photoshopped together with light touching, looks creepy.

    There is a music video for "Tonight" - not on the CD. Go to YouTube, type in "Tonight Of The Living Dead by 400 Lonely Things" in search. Or if you know how, "E8vWbIQbyXw". It's still there (as of writing), checked. Uploaded on January 25th, 2010 by 400LonelyThings. The video is 9:14 minutes long, quite phantasmagorical.

    Continuing with the audio motif...

    They don't make enough of these nowadays - audio dramas, the Golden Age of radio. Wait, GOOD audio dramas. Granted there are a few going on right now, like "We're Alive" (2009 - 2014; awesome zombie series/podcast - seek it out).



    I still have this, bought back in the day from B. Dalton bookstore (long gone) in my local mall, "Night Of The Living Dead: A Fully Dramatized Tale Of Absolute Terror!" The cassette was released by Simon & Schuster under their Audioworks line in 1988 to cash in on NOTLD's 20th anniversary; retailed for $9.95. I still have the folded single sheet catalog inside the cardboard case. Well... the cassette holder is plastic.

    There are three performers doing all the voices; Ed Bishop, Bill Hootkins and Linda Hayes. They needed either better voice talent OR more performers. The voices were not very different which can break a presentation like this. As you might expect, Hayes does all the female roles - all her voices sound the same. What makes it worse, Barbra now sounds like a cartoon character. *shakes head*

    Man, I have complaints about this adaptation, the voice actors leave a lot to be desired. The word 'cheesy' comes to mind. And the biggest bitch, they altered the ghouls. Zombies do not talk and they don't take breaks from hunting people. One of them rest after chasing Barbra; leans against a tree. Not joking.

    The revised story (fifty-three minutes) takes place in '88; Ronald Reagan is the President calling for calm as the plague escalates (bad Reagan impersonation too). All the characters sound weak.



    For collectors this is a curious piece of history, which is why I re-purchased it on CD. It was re-released on compact disc in 2004 also for $9.95 (you can find this cheaper on Ebay). Would I recommend this to non-die hards? HELL NO! This reworking suck balls then comes back for seconds. It could've been good - even great. What we got here is bad radio. Shame on you, M'Lou Zahner (executive producer) and Michael Brooks (audio adaptation), you're not fans.

    The CD has 22 tracks, the last one has fifteen seconds of silence. And the new cover sucks too! At least with the cassette they tired something different. The original release came with a cardboard slipcover which mirrored the jewel case art, not many CDs do that.

    The cover? Hands rise from the gave and hold on to? Is that suppose to be lightening as seen in the background? There is some kind of distortion in that sphere. Is it a metaphor? The dead eating the souls of the living?

    The cover makes no sense, just added frosting to this crap cake.

    - - - - - - - - - -

    PART IV: THE 1968 CLASSIC RELOADED - B

    BLUE CINEMA

    Nudies! You've been waiting for this mention. There have some parodies, but few XXX ones. I can name off the top of my head just two. Before you ask, sorry, both covers feature nudity so I won't post them. Just made you sad in the pants. It did me too, I had to read the detailed review for the one below.

    Released in April 2005 from Metro Studios under its Loaded Digital line was "Porn Of The Dead", directed by Rob Rotten.

    Oh man, this is messy and disgusting, take a real Hollywood zombie splatterfest then mix it with a porno. I'm glad I've never seen this. The stills were bad enough, gory sex. NO. I'll pass. There is no central plot, this is a gonzo release; five unrelated scenes featuring the undead with little to no dialog.

    There two scenes that I'm lightly going to mention as examples. Think oral sex, now make that member a bloody one. Take the reverse situation - now make that bloody too. Sick sad world, Daria. Sick, sad world.

    What I can tell you is that this DVD features an all death metal soundtrack (why of course), behind-the-scenes featurette (forty-eight minutes), trailers and slide show gallery. Audio is Dolby Digital 2.0 stereo. Retails for $25.99. The runtime is 101 minutes.

    This repulsion stars Sierra Sinn, Hillary Scott, Trina Michaels, Ruby Knox, Nikki Jett, Dirty Harry (not that one - Clint isn't that hard up; oh a double entendre), Alec Knight, Buster Good, Trent Tesoro, Joey Ray, Jenner, Rob Rotten and Johnny Thrust. As mentioned this is a Rotten film (another one - zing!).

    Let me make this crystal clear. Rotten is the kind of director that Christian groups rally against porn to, lumping his movies with the rest. The man makes extreme videos. Not the normal, happy-fun porn (Tori Black).

    The kind that very, very, very few people are into. The sick stuff as in this case; dismemberment, necrophilia and some serious religious blasphemy. Look, I'm an atheist and I'm offended. I put Rotten in the same camp as Rob Black. I don't need to explain him further than two words - "simulated rape". Stay away. It's a blight on the industry.

    Next up is "Night Of The Giving Head", released in October of 2008, a clever title from Exquisite; directed by Rodney Moore. Oh noes! I'm scarrred!!! Run for them there hills, Linda Lovelace has returned from the dead! *smiles*

    The runtime is 101 minutes too.

    This story driven blue movie stars Amber Rayne, Caroline Pierce, Nikki Rhodes, Rucca Page, Samantha Sin and Christian. The DVD has a slide show gallery, bloopers and making the soundtrack featurette; presentation in anamorphic widescreen. It retailed for $29.95.

    Due to Global Warming, holes are popping in the ozone layer. This environmental woe is making some semen wonky. Ladies who get *cough* a treat become effected. They crave non-stop man salsa. That the set-up; four girls are now trapped in a hilltop house with THEM lurking and horny outside. The horror! It's up to the local sheriff to save the day. Not gonna to leave you hanging (zing!), a cure is eventually found.
    Last edited by JohnIan101; 10-03-2018 at 05:19 AM.

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