Things I Learned From the Great Blackout

[trailergod]

hehehe.... i got this email today =)

Some useful survival techniques I learned as a result of watching movies and experiencing the Great Blackout of 2003:

1. You cannot drive like Benicio Del Toro did in The Hunted . Crazy Taxi techniques only work in the video game. Unless you own a Hummer you cannot bump another car off the side of the road, or squeeze through a space intended for 0.5 cars. Never cross intersections. Turn right then, do a u-turn, and turn right again. This is known as the Holmes right hand rule for driving and surviving, when all the traffic lights are out. Rule #2 is to carry one of those spinning emergency beacons, and pretend to be a cop, like Ray Liotta.

2. On your way home make sure your gas tank is full. How many of you procrastinators had the gas gauge on Empty? Find alternate routes, and sources of fuel, like Barry Newman in Vanishing Point (1971) . Also make sure your vehicle is properly maintained, otherwise you may find yourself stuck in a small town, as Sean Penn was in U Turn (1997) . Listen to the radio. You never know what's out there (Roadgames (1981) ).

3. Never underestimate the importance of having many flashlights. Keep on the lights, don't let the bedbug bite. These lessons should have been drilled into your head after watching Darkness Falls (2003) and They (2002) . My two favorite flashlights: Snake Light by Black & Decker, and Maglite. Cops use maglites. They make an excellent weapon, too. Buy and maintain plenty of rechargeable batteries. Also get an inverter for your car.

4. The importance of a generator. I guess this is illustrated in Thing, The (1982) .

5. Carry around a lot of cash, id's, and credit cards. Cash for the 7 and 11's, id's and cc for Home Depot. Home Depot is very accomodating and will sell you survival stuff even though their computers are down (and can't process UPC's). They write up a pink ticket and charge you later. Anyway, if you have seen Out-of-Towners, The (1999) , you are aware of the importance of the 3 items I mentioned.

6. Food, you can never have enough of this. Werner Herzog's film, Little Dieter Needs to Fly (1997) , is an excellent film offering this piece of advice. How do you cook food? Use your car. Someone wrote an entire book on manifold grilling.

7. Never visit New York in August. Even if your best friend offers you his penthouse apartment. Accidental Tourist, The (1988) , chapter 10. Or, if the location is California, [Body Double (1984). Tall buildings are big trouble.

8. Stuck in a subway? It's your own fault. Never ever use a subway. Movies prove that bad things happen in subways. Give me some examples (I haven't slept in 16 hours).

9. Elevators. Yuck. Not only is it horrible to be stuck in one for six hours, but they can kill you too. Examples: The Lift (1983) and Shaft (2002).

10. Feets do your thing. Cybil Shepard popularized Reebok sneakers as footwear. But who was the first female to wear sneakers in a movie? Kate Hepburn in Pat and Mike (1952) ? Who knows? Anyway, if you work in Manhattan and still insist on only one pair of shoes in your office, such as high heels (women) or wingtips (men), you be a fool. Twice in recent memory, people have had to cross the Brooklyn bridge by foot. The movies featured the first mass bridge crossing much earlier, in Siege, The (1998) .