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  1. #1
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    Bad, Worse, ****!!!!

    Just came across this and whanted to share.... Sorce : http://www.somethingawful.com/

    Bad - You have a one night stand with a girl and wake up the next morning and discover you've got a burning rash covering your penis.
    Worse - The girl turns out to be your sister.
    ****! - Who you picked up from an IRC room where she was posing as a 16 year old girl for an FBI sting operation.

    Bad - You get caught playing Minesweeper one time too many by the boss and get your pink slip.
    Worse - Your pink slip consists of being thrown through a plate glass window by your boss.
    ****! - From the eightieth floor of an office building located on top of an active volcano.

    Bad - You get pulled over for doing 90 in a school zone and you're drunk off your *** again at three in the afternoon.
    Worse - The cop is drunk too, and he's a mean drunk.
    ****! - A mean drunk that's actually a swarm of semi-sentient flesh-eating beetles.

    Bad - While out on a date you decide to go to a Mexican restaurant and the burrito beats you in a race to the bathroom.
    Worse - The burrito had bet money on the race.
    ****! - And he has a lot of taco friends willing to take that money out of your *** if you don't pay up.

    Bad - Maverick, pull up! There's a MiG on your six!
    Worse - Maverick, pull out! Your mom's home from the grocery store!
    ****! - Maverick, pull straws! The man with the short one gets to massage Dr. Phil's taint!

    Bad - The mob has put a hit out on you for ratting on the don.
    Worse - The yakuza has put out a call for your severed head for having sex with the boss's wife.
    ****! - Bill Cosby has put up a reward for your capture so he can suck the delicious Jello pudding that fills your bones instead of marrow.

    Bad - You're addicted to the Internet.
    Worse - Especially FARK.
    ****! - Because you laugh every single time you read the phrase "France Surrenders!"

    Bad - Your rent check just bounced.
    Worse - Because you bought an entire shipping pallet of dildos.
    ****! - That got delivered to your landlord's apartment on accident.

    Bad - The factory that employed almost half of your town just shut down.
    Worse - By "shut down" I mean "burned down with everyone inside".
    ****! - By "factory" I mean "unshielded nuclear reactor".

    -------------------------------
    Next one is MY favorit
    -------------------------------

    Bad - The MPAA files a lawsuit against you for downloading a theatrical screener.
    Worse - It was a VCD of "Gigli"
    ****! - That you actually got to work in your DVD player.

    Bad - Your girlfriend breaks up with you for petty reasons and then immediately starts dating.
    Worse - Your father.
    ****! - Who insists you call her "mom".

    Bad - Your dog gets run over by a speeding car.
    Worse - Your dog was actually a super intelligent fox.
    ****! - A kindly white-bearded gnome was riding on its back when the car struck.

    Bad - You lose all of your money in Las Vegas.
    Worse - It was inside your wallet at the time.
    ****! - You have a sinking suspicion you may have left it in that hotel room where you murdered the hooker.

    Bad - You write erotic "Dukes of Hazzard" fan fiction.
    Worse - About Bo and Luke asphyxiating each other during gay sex.
    ****! - And you accidentally turn it in as an assignment at parochial school.

    Bad - You fatally shoot your best friend while showing him your new gun.
    Worse - He was the President of the United States.
    ****! - And he was standing on your new Berber carpet.

    Bad - Videotapes of you having sex were leaked onto the Internet.
    Worse - The videos were shot using night vision making you look like some sort of hideous alien creature.
    ****! - Your career still consists of appearing on "Wild On!" and being interviewed incoherently by Jules Asner while dry humping anything within reach because of the overdose of ecstasy you took poolside earlier.

    Bad - While enjoying your lunch you find a human finger in your bowl of soup.
    Worse - It's your finger.
    ****! - It's still attached to the body of a man who is considering a job at Burger King because his Bachelor's degree in computer science isn't worth the paper it's printed on anymore.

    Bad - You still haven't beaten "Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic".
    Worse - You're stuck on the first fight with Calo Nord.
    ****! - Because you burned out your retinas staring at the sun and can no longer differentiate shapes.

    Bad - Your infant son dies from starvation because you were playing Everquest nonstop.
    Worse - You only find the body when emptying your improvised colostomy bag.
    ****! - You abandon flushing his corpse down the toilet halfway through the process because you hear the sound of your character being attacked from the other room.

    Bad - Your most prized possession is destroyed in an unfortunate accident.
    Worse - The accident involved a tribe of cannibals.
    ****! - Your most prized possession was your artificial hip.

    Bad - You develop stigmata.
    Worse - You work in a lemonade factory.
    ****! - You're not even Christian.

    Bad - Your neighbors call the police and complain about the loud noise coming from a party you're having.
    Worse - The party is actually a cover for you to deal heroin out of your bedroom.
    ****! - The music was actually turned up to conceal the sounds of you being shot to death by rival drug dealers.

    Bad - You write for a humor web site.
    Worse - You run out of ideas so frequently that you have to rely on "bad and worse" as your concept for an article.
    ****! - And it actually seemed like a good idea at the time.



    Fed7haS
    She's just too pretty for Hollywood. I don't know, put her in a glass box and display her at the Metropolitan Museum of Art or something. - Jake on the topic of Scarlett Johansson.

  2. #2
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    fair enough....

    bad: some were funny ..
    worse: some were stupid..


    [My Top 20 Movies@Ymdb] - ([)(]) Dolby Digital the choice of ML's - [~My Place ~]

    {Drag The Sunrise Down: You know the light can hypnotise, so shut it out and close your eyes - Rooster}

  3. #3
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    Originally posted by Stormwalker
    bad: some were funny ..
    worse: some were stupid..
    ****: some no one really gives a damn whether they were funny or stupid.


    "The idea was to be a symbol. editman could be anybody, that was the point."

    Trolls destroyed the Forum

    my DVD/blu-ray List

  4. #4
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    i realy think i started out ok on this forum.... but some how i managed to piss off editman.... i wonder how that happend.. Hmmmm.....

    Fed7haS

  5. #5
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    Possibly, because you've done 95 posts in a month and a half and he's worried you're gonna become like me, which some might say is not a bad thing...

  6. #6
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    I'm sticking with the old school ML'ers on this one. They weren't that funny.

  7. #7
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    Not funny. Apart from the Gigli one.

  8. #8
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    hehe i know they wasent all funny but some was and i just whanted to shere.... but if this is sutch a big deal and it is considerd spam i whont do it again.... sorry...

    Fed7haS

  9. #9
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    Hey, posting something if you think the other forumites might like it isn't spamming. It's using emocon only replies or going off topic.

  10. #10
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    sorry but i have to ask what is a emocon?

    Fed7haS

  11. #11
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    emoticon

    emotion icon as in smiley

  12. #12
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    Originally posted by I Got Trailers
    Hey, posting something if you think the other forumites might like it isn't spamming. It's using emocon only replies or going off topic.
    untrue. Any post thats dumb or useless is also spam. U should know.
    "A celibate clergy is an especially good idea, because it tends to suppress any hereditary propensity toward fanaticism." / Carl Sagan

  13. #13
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    Mygod...Everyone calls me spammer and I'm nearly leaving this forum for some time because of the "spammer" image. Got to go to my punching bag (I broken my squeezy stress ball).

  14. #14
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    well wouldent the removal of post count remove the spamming thing? like whats the point of a post count anyways... ? is it like..

    The bigger your Post Count the bigger your penis is?

    Never mind.... i will in the future only awnser threads not make em

    Fed7haS

  15. #15
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    Originally posted by Dr.FrankNFurter
    well wouldent the removal of post count remove the spamming thing? like whats the point of a post count anyways... ? is it like..

    The bigger your Post Count the bigger your penis is?

    Never mind.... i will in the future only awnser threads not make em

    Fed7haS
    I just started a thread based on the above quote

    Size, I mean count matters

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