Ally McBeal creator David E Kelly brings us "the Mighty Ducks for adults".

Somewhere engulfed within the frozen glaciers of Alaska there is a little town called Mystery. This little town's passion and religion is the game of hockey. Their whole world changes when they are given the chance to play the infamous New York Rangers.

Hollywood has never really grasped what hockey is but tried a variety of interpretations. In 1977's "Slapshot" ruggedness and drinking were the main focus as an aging player tries to play one last season. "Slapshot" was the Bull Durham of hockey movies and still regarded as the best. As the Hollywood hockey film evolved the movie focus became brutality and blood with 1986's "Youngblood" which forces heart-throb Rob Lowe to become a man or die trying. In 1992 "The Mighty Ducks" reincarnated the formula of the "Bad News Bears" and delighted kids but made adult hockey fans wonder when a movie for them may occur. And now with the dawn of the millenium season in the NHL as the century closes "Mystery, Alaska" really tries to carry on the torch as Hollywood takes one more stab to make a really good hockey movie. I am sad to say we have to keep waiting because Mystery has no great payoff and leads me to wonder why the people of Mystery are so religiously involved with this sport.

Mystery tries to deliver laughs as well as hits but what we really get is a rip-off of the Mighty Ducks and a lot of sexual references. The sexual references are there as a tool to make us believe that this is actually a film for adults. Kelly's script touches on the skill and the flamboyance of the winter game we love but delivers minimal excitement. The movie's climatic hockey game is well choreographed and delivers some excitement but it's the first I have seen which doesn't include overtime. One of the central characters is a sex-addict who loves to boast about his last local conquest. In one of his lines he says, "I love to have sex and play hockey. Those are the two most fun things to do in cold weather." I think that's a perfect sum-up of this movie. But it does beg the question, is this how Hollywood sees the Great White North?

(3 of 5) So Says the Soothsayer.