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  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    Past Tense - Trouble (The Good Kind) Across The Way Part I

    [An earlier version of this PT was originally posted on September 29th, 2011 on JoBlo's "DVD, Blu-Ray & Home Theater Discussion" forum. Too big, have to break this up into two parts.]

    Get swooned and learn a secret identity from "The Girl Next Door"...

    The motion picture opened on April 9th, 2004. It was made with a budget of $25,000,000 (estimated) and grossed over $14.5 million during its U.S. theatrical run; counting foreign receipts it made $30,411,183. The film opened at number ten, the following week it dropped to number fourteen. It bombed, sadly.

    The feature opened against "The Passion Of The Christ", "Hellboy", "The Alamo" and "Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed".

    Originally came with a unique partial slipcover - used to conceal the cover girl's torso (Elisha Cuthbert), the illusion that she is nude, as seen above.

    Later pressings exclude it.

    First pressing also came with an insert, chapter listing/bonus features index.

    - - -

    Best Buy offered the only exclusive, a bonus disc (36:33 minutes, full screen). The set streeted on August 24th, 2004 for $14.99. The DVD came in a printed cardboard sleeve (which can fit inside the case) - this was not attached to the case, but in a nearby cardboard rack.

    There is no screen shot, the program just plays. The bonus also included an advertisement for "Maxim Presents The Real Swimsuit DVD: Vol. 1".

    This could be bought separately, if you could find it; sold out quickly was $0.01. Anyhow, I have since moved mine into a two disc case.

    The program is a bikini spotlight (interviews and photo shoots), centered on five contestants from Maxim magazine's "Girl Next Door" contest, hosted by Jennifer Lothrop.

    None of the film stars appear on the exclusive. Why here? A slim connection; the film's star, Elisha Cuthbert was on the cover (and photo spread) of Maxim's March 2004 (75th) issue which included the announcement - winner of the "Hometown Hotties" competition (participant Christina Dare won). And both the contest and film share the same name. As I wrote, 'slim'.

    It appears that the exclusive is the final episode of a limited run series on the FX channel, "Girl Next Door". The show ran for one season, eleven episodes in 2004 (not on DVD). This could mean, the exclusive aired on March 13th, 2004.

    "Maxim's Girl Next Door" has great eye candy. I liked the submission videos. Did recognize two of the girls. Not picked was Monica Jackson. She's the busty (artificial) and quite petite person who won a million dollars with her boyfriend on the couple's edition of "Fear Factor". She also appeared in a pictorial with another female "Fear Factor" contestant for the February 2005 issue of Playboy.

    The other woman is Charity Hodges. She's was all over the net, pretty sure you've seen her. Hodges does lots of bikini contests and conventions. Hot girl.

    - - - - - - - - - -


    Have a double sided poster for this! You don't care. Mine is still rolled up in a poster shipping tube, bought from the post office in '04. Not sure how to hang it. I would like to have the option to present both sides; making it a flipper.

    This was gotten for FREE at my local video rental shop - which is still in business. I think it opened in late 2003 or early 2004. This happened in mid September 2004. I was there to rent "The Passion Of The Christ" for my mom. They had at the time; sadly no longer - I blame Ebay; posters for customers - overstocks and replacements; their indoor poster marquees.

    I go through the pile, junk. I ask the clerk if they had any "The Girl Next Door" posters, 'why yes we do'. He then pulls out this huge glossy double sided print. Side one, advertisement for the regular edition DVD. The other for the uncensored version; it is mint. Sway!

    The movie was enjoyed. I saw it on opening day at a theater that no longer exist - converted into a Wal-Mart groceries store. Man, I had so many good time there. One of the best experiences, well probably bad for them was watching "Bubble Boy" on opening day, August 24th, 2001.

    Paid my ticket went to the screening room and was the only one. Later after some time a second person entered. Just us - two attendees. I remember looking up and seeing the projectionist looking down at us, 'I guess I have to show the movie'.

    The feature was fun and it felt like it was being shown just for me. It's the first and only time I had that kind of experience, a private screening. A good flick too.

    - - -

    Favorite hate quote...

    A good movie could presumably be made from this premise -- a good movie can be made from anything, in the right hands and way -- but this is a dishonest, quease-inducing 'comedy' that had me feeling uneasy and then unclean.
    - Roger Ebert.


    Unclean? Did we see the same movie? I spoke to my friend afterwards. We think the reason is he expected, XXX industry bashing. Instead it portrays it in a neutral light. At least that's our thoughts.

    On his then syndicated TV show, "Ebert & Roeper At The Movies", Ebert and Richard Roeper both gave it thumbs down.

    *sad panda face*

    - - -

    Shouldn't, but let's be honest - it kinda bombed...

    The movie is about high school student Matthew Kidman (Emile Hirsch) who falls for his new neighbor, Danielle (Elisha Cuthbert). Quite the personification of 'the girl next door'. By accident he witnesses her getting undress; his bedroom window is across from hers - and is caught by the girl.

    Nice scene when she comes over a moment later, greeted by Matthew's parents; asking to see their son. The death walk down the stairs. Danielle does not destroy him, but demands satisfaction - have him strip down in front of her; away from home on the street.

    The two click and find romance, they first kiss at a high school party, a passionate moment. But later that night, cashes hard. It is his best friend Eli (Chris Marquette) who makes the connection - this girl is an award winning adult film starlet; screen name, Athena.

    Disbelief until Eli shows him one of her pornos (on VHS), it's true. His attitude changes and results in her dumping him. Guilt at what he had done or rather what tried to do compels him to make amends. But how? She's gone, no longer home.

    It is Eli who comes with a plan - after all, he screwed up their relationship; bad, very bad advice.

    Right at this moment the Adult Entertainment Expo is happening. More than likely she is there. The plan to is to crash the convention. How? It is an industry only gathering. It is Eli, a die hard porno enthusiast (putting it lightly) decides they should impersonate XXX producers looking for talent for their new video. A second friend joins them on this voyage, Klitz (Paul Dano) - only one with a car.

    Matthew wins her back, but gets the wrath of Kelly (Timothy Olyphant), Danielle's ex and her adult video producer. The kid's action has cost him $30,000 so he steal it from his bank account. A fund that the school started to bring a Samnang (Ulysses Lee), a Cambodian student to America. Gone. Matthew is screwed - he was responsible for that charity. He'll be expelled and lose his acceptance to Georgetown University.

    Danielle and Eli comes up with an unconventional fix. Film a sex tape, an educational video for 'sex ed' classes. A project bankrolled by an adult mogul, Hugo Posh (James Remar) on the promise that this could make millions if schools buy it. It does.

    The video is shot on campus by Eli, an aspiring film makers with his A/V club minions on prom night with a legal student (signed release form). Not with Danielle, but with two of her XXX gal pals; one of which is Sung Hi Lee, a Playboy model, character named Ferrari. The other is Amanda Swisten as April.

    Happy ending for all. Yes, that kind of happy ending too.

    This also starred a pre-famous Olivia Wilde as adult starlet, Kellie.

    Ton of spoilers? Nah, a lot more happens. I've left out some subplots. Do see, it's an entertaining flick. Though the conclusion isn't quite so happy.

    Matthew is now a student at Georgetown, still with Danielle, but his dreams will always be out of reach. He's a marked man, social stigma of dating and perhaps marrying a porn star. He'll graduated, but his political dreams is as it reads, is no more than 'dreams'.

    Many have said this is a modern "Risky Business" (1983). I guess it is.

    What I would like to see sequel with Eli, his filmmaking antics. He stole the show, quite quotable.

    I'm glad this was rated R, none of that water down PG-13 pandering. But sadden that Cuthbert doe not appear nude.

    At one point it reported that Danielle was a one-time porn talent. No, her character is quite established in the industry. Another axed plot point, mentioned before the release; Danielle was a new student at Matthew's school (Westport High School), trying to get her diploma. Nope.


    1) I wish they had gone with a two disc set and not double sided. So easy to scratch. 2) I just wished the commentary by Hirsch and Cuthbert was full length and not just a few scenes. 3) Cuthbert nudity. It's a guy thing.

    Is the juice worth the squeeze? Yes.

    To paraphrase Homer Simpsons, 'Porn! The cause of and SOLUTION to all of life's problems.'
    Last edited by JohnIan101; 09-09-2019 at 05:21 AM.

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