WORST movies of '03

[blugh]

I know a lot of us mentioned this in the other thread, but I figure there were enough bad movies this year to warrant a separate thread.

Now for the 5 movies that were so appallingly bad they made me cringe, the ones you just don't want to waste your time with... ever. One of these I just saw today...

5. National Security
4. Gigli
3. The Medallion
2. Steal
1. LXG

[Kn'thrak]

1. Alexander's Project
2. Hollywood Homicide
3. 2 fast 2 Furious
4. The Hours
5. Solaris

[Matt]

Dumb and Dumberer, LXG, Daredevil, Tomb Raider 2, Hollywood Homicide are all clunkers.
BTW, is The Cat In The Hat really so bad it deserved to be in IMDb's Bottom 100?

[corfy]

Well, I didn't see that many movies this year, so I don't really have a "worst", but I was very disapointed with Lara Croft: Tomb Raider - Cradle of Life, and Terminator 3 could have been better. For that matter, Matrix Reloaded could have been better, too.

[radstar]

Number One: In the Cut

[editman]

@Kn'thrak: I'm really curious to know why one of my top ten movies of last year is your worst. I think I like it a lot from the technical side of it cos that flick was a indie filmmaker's dream - minimal budget to do an interesting, grabbing story.

The characters of the husband and wife, I admit, take their actions rather extreme and hence maybe unrealistic. Guess that's why you didn't like it?

Originally posted by radstar
Number One: In the Cut

Hmmm... okay it's really moody to the point that it can be boring. But have you seen other Jane Campion movies before, Stefie, like The Piano, Holy Smoke! or Portriat of a Lady? If you did you'd kinda know what to expect from her output (which is never mainstream).

I've already stated my disappointments of 2003 in another thread, so not gonna repeat here.

[ZUBi]

there can be ONLY ONE (hehehe; Highlander press):

Matrix ShitLoaded !

[aS!Dz]

4) Solaris
3) National Security
2) Charlies Angels 2
1) Terminator 3

[SharkmanSIX]

I couldnt believe it when after seeing Solaris I was probally the only person who hated it, all the people around me where talking (loudly) on how it was "exceptional" "brillient" and "breathtaking" At what point was Solaris breathtaking? Maybe I missed that part when I was sleeping.
Worst movie all year:Solaris
And isnt "Steal" the Canadian flick?

[Movieman]

WORST MOVIE

5. Trapped
4. Tomb Raider 2
3. Freddy vs Jason
2. Master of Disguise
1. Basic

MOST OVERRATED

3. Tomb Raider 2
2. Hulk
1. Matrix 2&3

MOST UNDERRATED

3. Spanish Apartment
2. Looney Tunes Back in Action
1. Bright Young Things

[blugh]

Yes, Sharkman, Steal is the canadian flick. And it sucks golf balls through garden hose.

[carl]

Yes it's true; I saw some films in 2003 that I liked a lot. However it's also true that the ratio of what was good to what was bad was in a divide so large that I sometimes forget that the good stuff even exists. Fact is that the majority of films that I saw last year were crap; but I try to avoid crap and so there was a lot of films that I intentionally missed. If only I could have made that decision with the likes of Cold Mountain; another of Miramax's shameless end of year Oscar bait movies that has all the hallmarks of an epic award winner, except for, you know, being a good film. Oh wait, but you may have read Homer's Odyssey which will make this film oh so original. Ah well, nothing to be done now so I may as well tell you what films you should avoid; despite the fact that if you haven't seen them by now then you're probably smart enough to not need this list. (except for Dave who obviously isn't smart enough; he just doesn't see enough films.)

10: Tomb Raider: The Cradle Of Life
Let's get one thing straight now; I actually enjoyed Tomb Raider: The Cradle Of Life. It was fun; but it sticks on this list because the fun that I had came from laughing at the pure crappiness being displayed. Lara Croft gets herself into underwater trouble here and she can sort it out by punching the nearest Great White Shark. Angelina Jolie tries her best to put on the accent of an American Actress pretending to be a posh English bit of skirt; and yet somehow still comes across as too OTT even for that. Countless bland performances and headache enducingly implausible action scenes abound.

09: The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen
Now I had heard a lot about this film that intrigued me. Claims from one of our leads that it was absolutely horrible, and the other lead seeming to indicate that it was so bad that it was good. Well I've seen and enjoyed a lot of so bad they're good films so I couldn't wait. It's all lies; lies I tell you. This film is not so bad that it's good; it's simply bad enough to be crap. I can accept bad acting, plot holes and the like in a comedic action fantasy: but poorly choreographed action; special effects so bad that they make old Japanese monster movies look like 23d century digital effects; characters underused to the extreme (a vampire chick with no evil leanings; big unstoppable monster that actually has a heart of gold and so becomes useless in his unstoppableness; an invisible man who never stays quiet and an immortal who's good at, erm, getting shot make up the team), is all partnered together with blandly inoffensive acting in a film that wouldn't be fun if you were on Valium. Oh, and also includes a moment with the team getting into Nemo's car and meeting his first mate Ishmael; an injoke destined to leave out the in crowd who will be completely baffled as to why Ahab's first mate has moved over to the kung fu fighting Nemo's submarine.

08: Biker Boys
Yay it's a remake of The Fast And The Furious; or is it a remake of 2Fast 2Furious? Either way I don't care; I still didn't care when they remade it again as this years current stinker Torque; face it I'm just not going to care about such unoriginal garbage since I can just watch a different film that's the same in every way but the title; and it'll have the benefit of being slightly more original than this one that was made later. Now normally with this type of film I get upset that the writers don't bother giving their characters a second name, but this time...
Laurence Fishburne as Smoke
Derek Luke as Kid
Orlando Jones as Soul Train
Djimon Hounsou as Motherland
and you get the point; give your characters a damn first name at least!!! Bla bla bla; you know the score with the acting, quick cutting and writing of a new born Gorilla so I wont bother mentioning it.

07: Treasure Planet
Another inoffensive film, and one that actually had some good voice acting and impressive animations. Still who cares when its an action adventure with little action and less adventure. A film where the puzzle hiding the treasures location is solved before the characters have even started looking, and the un-threatening pirates do nothing until the journey is nearly over. Even the core audience of the little people remained unamused by the films fart jokes.

06: Star Trek: Nemesis
Hey; these guys used me, abused me and then threw me away to rot on a prison planet. These other guys want to help me and so obviously I should help the meanies destroy the niceies for no reason beyond the fact that this is Star Trek and I'm the cause of conflict. Oh look there's Data and everyone getting surprised that there's another being that looks exactly like Data despite the fact that Data is an easily reproduced artificial life form and we've already met his twin brother. Why look it's somebody who we can tell is obviously a clone of the captain since they have such similar bald heads; despite the fact that when the captain was that age he did have hair; but forget that because without shiny lobes they have less in common than a newt and a giraffe.

With those 3 points being just a few of the plots little quirks I doubt I need to say more.

05: The Core
Where to start? A crashing rocket that handles corners better than a Ferrari; a computer geek who hacks every computer on the internet simultaneously; a lone scientist spotting text book examples of the Earth's core no longer spinning while the top scientists fail to notice anything even with their little computers designed to spot such things; The American government stopping the core by making a tiny little Earthquake, and saving the day by coming up with yet another useful use for weapons of mass destruction. I smell something fishy here; and the poor acting, dodgy effects and painfully slow pace don't help much.

04: Jeepers Creepers 2
Not to sound insensitive but; people this stupid deserve to be killed by a big scary monster with bats wings. Teenager sneaking past a sleeping monster but pausing to tug at its wings; good one mate. Standing directly underneath the big hole in the roof; gee that was smart. Not spotting a guy get dragged away by a big monster when he is standing but a few feet in front of you; I thought there were laws against blind people driving busses? Dumb and completely uncharasmatic; though kind of good looking, teens get munched and crunched up to histories cheesiest ending in this unforgivably bad horror movie.

03: 2 Fast 2 Furious
See Biker Boys but with cars, oh and Paul Walker (who is always about 500 bad points by default). Oh and Tyrese walking around saying "We hungry" every 2 minutes. Macho male bonding fist fights and car chases that would have been considered too much for the Dukes Of Hazard. As far as babes go Devon Aoki looks like somebody has smashed her face in with a frying pan, and Paul Walker is a prat. Typically unoriginal story line with Over the top evil bad guy and a host of annoying stars. At least Eva Mendes was hot; but that is the only plus point.

02: Kill Bill
Controversial? Maybe, but I don't care. Kill Bill sucked hard. As per usual Quentin Tarantino enters a film with a craving to fulfil his violence fetish; and while the results are certainly over the top they are designed exclusively to show lovers of all things cinematically violent how cool it really is. Bland acting; a supremely un-badass performance from miss Thurman, with an unoriginal plot hole filled story. An annoying soundtrack that tries to be both hip 90's and cool 70's simultaneously. Basic and unoriginal cinematography; and even Yeun Woo Ping's usually amazing choreography being discoed up to the point that it becomes ineffective; probably as a result of Tarantino's obsessive control. If it weren't for Lucy Lui this would easily rank among the worst mainstream films of all time; even if it was meant to be paying homage to bad films.

01: Timeline
The action scenes that would have been easy to carry over from the book weren't; and the few that we are provided with are terrible in the extreme. Horrible cinematography; acting to rank up there with Battlefield Earth. Need I go on? Why not. A story so overly simplified that an over excitable chimpanzee could have come up with it; a group of crappy actors standing around letting their looks do the talking. Cheesy moments that are way to predictable to be healthy; gee it's a time travel flick and the hottie archeologist is asking what kind of monster would ruin a beautiful plaque. I don't know could it be you by any chance? Had a bit of trouble with this film; customer asked me what I thought and I couldn't figure out a way to get them to rent a film with exactly no redeeming qualities. Needless to say I had them rent Underworld instead.

[ZUBi]

KILL carl !

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joking ofcours. :big grin:

I mean, I agree with most of the films U named, but Kill Bill was one of the BEST movies I saw in 2003...

[Drew Boi]

I thought "Paycheck" was not worth the 9 bucks and the worst thing I saw.

It was interesting at first but slowly regressed to nothing at the end for me.

But that is my opinion

[omega]

Timeline was bad, really bad.