A fun Halloween related question

[Matt]

- Try not to sleep. You never know when the ghost of a child murderer is lurking inside your dreams. It's better advised to sleep when you are dead.

- If you are in a spooky area in your sleep (by breaking the rule above), such as an empty playground or woods at night, wake up.

- Serial killers often have lodges were they store all the corpses of their victims (and maybe their mother too). Often the only bit of shelter actually in the middle of the woods, maybe near a lake, so be very careful.

- If your prom date is bullied and has a stark raving mum, please dump her gently (if not she'll make your head explode).

- Odd words, such as 'redrum', only occur when something is telling you to kill. So try to avoid going near their place.

- Do not take a caretaking job in the middle of nowhere.

- Snow is not friendly, but evil, I tell you! It can trap you in a house with your pyschotic spouse, or leave you with a fanatic nurse after crashing your car.

- Do not walk the moors alone. Or you will become either dead (and best described as a 'meatloaf'), or a man who turns into a beast at night.

- If you break the above and start seeing your dead friend, and have weird dreams, try to lock yourself in an empty room with no windows on a full moon night.

- Thunderstorms bring everything to life. Even your toys.

- Enraged at you for slamming it one too many times, toys brought to life will often try to kill you.

- If you're a woman and your mutating scientist lover tells you not to get an abortion of his baby, ignore him.

- Teleports are evil, too. They can make you lose limbs, swap heads with creatures or painfully mutate you at genetic level.