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[JohnIan101]

Past Tense - Hybrid With No Fuel Part I


Another brand new entry - don't get excited, it sucks.

Decided to give you one last, L.E. Horror bonus since I watched this on Monday (had the DVD for three years) as a warning. Which is kinda interesting considering last week's bonus was "Phantom Of The Opera" (1943).

This time out we get two things that rarely, if ever, mix well, a horror/musical - didn't work here either in "Stage Fright" (not holding my breath for "Anna And The Apocalypse" [2017]).



The motion picture had a limited opening on May 9th, 2014. But was available for streaming on April 3rd, 2014. It's budget is unknown. It gross over $7,000 during its U.S. theatrical run. Yes, you read correctly. The film opened number ninety-five at the box office, the following week it dropped to one hundred two.

The feature opened against "Captain America: The Winter Soldier", "The Amazing Spider-Man 2", "Neighbors" and "Divergent".

This did not come with a slipcover, nor any kind of insert.

- - -

There was one store exclusive that took effort to get - which I now regret, lost money here.

Months earlier I had read rave reviews on horror websites about this new Canadian flick, then nothing.

Things pop in my head all the time, synapses clicking in unison, 'whatever happened to that movie'? So I looked about online for an answer.

It had already streeted the previous week - July 8th, 2014. And that Best Buy had an exclusive bonus disc. Hey, I don't remember seeing that in the ad.

So I pulled out the weekly advertisement (legacy project) and jumped to the media page...



Squat.

As you can see, there is no mention of it - turns out, this was an unadvertised exclusive.

The following day (7/14) I visited my local store and searched to no avail, then I asked for assistance. There are six DVD copies for $12.99 (also on BD with bonus [$17.99]). But where? Their inventory said it's there, but its location is unknown.

I had two clerks helping me.

Was told to come back the next day, Tuesday and ask one of media stockers who put out the new titles. Maybe the shipment was misplaced.

Which I did.



It was found. That exclusive tag isn't a sticker, it's printed on the wraparound; that's the second time I've seen that. The bonus disc is the short film, "The Legend Of Beaver Dam" (2010), 11:46 minutes. The thing was an early project directed by Jerome Sable and co-written by Eli Batalion both men did "Stage Fright".

Another musical - this one is about a campfire song that... wakes up a monster. Okay fine. It's up to the nerdy friend to save the day. Also not funny and more of the same. If you loved the movie, then you will love that short. I did not.

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Rant.

I've read reviews while doing my research. What the hell? I'm wonder how much drug use was at play. Or if they're trying real hard to oversell this as a childhood fantasy because they didn't participate in musical summer camp.

This is NOT humorous, the jokes are lame. The songs are ultra generic, no lasting value - forgotten as before the film's conclusion. The gore is pedestrian; the "Friday The 13th" films from the 1980s had better effects. The characters, minus ONE are background dressing and or insufferable. And the killer is not memorable. Which fits nicely in the disposable nature of this... movie.

And the biggest sin of all - not scary. The film is one continuous 'meh'.

The ending made me shake my head; you can see it coming as soon as the scene began - a jump scare in the mirror. Oh joy. Turns out to be a hallucination. What a shock.

I made the error buying, don't make the same mistake. If this is free and you have nothing better to do. Maybe.



For clarity sake, this is not a reboot/re-imagining/remake of "Stage Fright", the Italian horror movie about a musical from 1987. That title is on DVD and BD as special edition from Blue Underground (2014).

Have not seen it, so I can't say if this was better, worse or lateral.

So what is this about?

The IMDb synopsis: "A snobby musical theater camp is terrorized by a blood-thirsty killer who hates musical theater." Yup that's it - in one sentence.

*long sigh*



The movie is about a musical summer camp ("Center Stage") production of "Haunting Of The Opera", that's how original we are from the start. This had one Broadway performance before it was shut down. The star Kylie Swanson (Minnie Driver in a bit role) was murdered after the show in her dressing room.

Kylie's now teen kids, Camilla (Allie MacDonald) and Buddy (Douglas Smith) work at the camp as the cooks. Their somewhat adopted father is their mom's show producer, Roger McCall (Meat Loaf Aday), who owns the camp.

The place is on the verge of being shut down, foreclosed by the bank. Roger has the idea of having one big production to save him, getting a high profile theater critic to view and praise. But soon discovers that Camilla has auditioned for the role her mom had originally played. She gets the role and gears move.



This is the selling point to get the newspaper critic to show up. The daughter of the slain, up and coming artist is playing the role that would've made her mom a star.

But then you have a killer on the loose. A killer who hates musicals and does a crappy song about hating... musicals.

I'll stop here, the story is lean in the bad way.

How bad are the characters?

The only one is three dimensional - Camilla, the rest are all red shirts.

I will say this, they did good casting MacDonald; attractive without being too sexy. She looks appropriate for the setting. A young woman, not a model.

Anyhow, you have a bunch of small roles. Like the little girl with a lisp and the teen who has half of her hair shaven, that's their role. A head shaven and a speech impediment, not enough to qualify as characters.

Going back to "Friday The 13th" - the second installment (1981), had a character in a wheelchair, Mark (Tom McBride). Not a survivor; Jason Voorhees is an equal opportunity killer. His role is small, but he was more than 'the wheelchair guy'. He was given just enough time to flesh out, he death was tragic, not because he's disabled but he tried to save his friend and failed. He died a hero.