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[JohnIan101]

Past Tense - Curse Me, Curse You Part I


[An earlier version of this PT was originally posted on November 22nd, 2012 on JoBlo's "DVD, Blu-Ray & Home Theater Discussion" forum.]

From the shadows passing from under the door of the den, you count at least eight devil dogs. They sniff the air and pause for a moment in front of your room. But the scent of that peanut butter stuck in the wall is too much to be ignored, hell hounds... but still dogs. Dogs love peanut butter. They creep and stalk outside the other room. As if consulting each other on how to get their next prey. What was so disturbing was their silence, they're not stupid. They're moving with killer intent. You heard a barely audible growl and their wet breath. They're not even bumping into the furnishings. These things are hunting. Then it happened so sudden. They had made a silent sprint; unknown how many were moving in tandem. They crash into the room. NOW barking! You now hear the place being torn up. They found the sandwich spread. From the sounds it's like they're eating the wall to get at it. Eating the damn wall! Then silence again. They know. Holy crap. They know. This is the moment - you run to the locked door and start poking through with your sword. Pulling and pushing the steel in fevered fashion. Blood and yelps as they were being cut into. The beast had took flight to YOUR room. Blood and more blood. So much adrenaline pumping in your body. They bite and push into the door, but you have the advantage. Then it got worse, much worse. A few of them are biting into the nearby wall, trying to force themselves in. Too many of them... they're not eight. Not now, more had joined in. You can see a small hole starting to form, but you can't stop stabbing the door, keeping them from this entry. The hole gets bigger, frenzy of jagged teeth, snapping pulling on the drywall. That's when you see one of them stick their grotesque head in. It scans the room and sees you, making eye contact. Holy crap, is that thing grinning?! At that very moment a boom is heard, like a horn, but not a horn. The best description is like an air raid siren, one long beat. The devil dogs stop their advance and flee. But that single mongrel, still eye locked on you. It felt like minutes, but were seconds. It pulled out and joined its sinister brood. And that was it. The mist had lifted as if it never happened. Daylight, still morning. Hundred were killed that breakfast, you survived. The news had so many different stories on what had happened. From a natural formed wormhole to an inferno alternate netherworld to regular dogs who were exposed to toxic waste. To judgment day that got canceled. To even aliens. Nobody had real answers. And nobody could answer what that boom was. OR where those hounds disappeared to. The strange thing is your insurance seems to know it was a natural event and paid to have the house fixed. You took the sword, now hangs in your bedroom. From that day on, you locked your bedroom door, behind several latches. That dog. That beast wants a second try. So you live, thinking each morning might be round two.

Hold your breath, this is the final Limited Edition Horror 2019; this Thursday we rethink about doin' it doggie style with "Underworld: Rise Of The Lycans"...



The third film in the "Underworld" franchise opened on January 23rd, 2009. It was made with a budget of $35,000,000 (estimated) and grossed $45 million during its U.S. theatrical run. It made its money back with profits when including foreign receipts (twice the domestic gross). The film opened number two at the box office, the following week it dropped to number six. In Japan this was known as "Underworld Begins", it fits.

The feature opened against "The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button", "My Bloody Valentine 3-D" and "Paul Blart: Mall Cop".

There was no slipcover, nor insert.

- - -

This streeted on May 12th, 2009 - there was only one exclusive... maybe?



Wal-Mart offered a bonus disc; set sold for $22.99. The extra DVD came in its own case and was side packed with the movie. It's has a single featurette, "Rise Of The Lycans: Inside The Castle Walls", a run time is 34:36 minutes.

Sorry, no screen snap, there is no menu screen, it just plays.

Checked the Wal-Mart website... nope, that exclusive set is no longer available.



The featurette has teeth - not a fluff piece. It had various production artwork (which I love seeing) and behind-the-scenes moments. And interviews with the cast and crew. Above is art for the vampire soldiers, their armor.

And the other?

I'm fuzzy, but would be amiss not to include. I say this since one of the items shown is in fact an exclusive, "Secrets Of The Code" DVD, but it's not listed as one.



The store sold a gift set of the film, Blu-Ray only with a lycan figurine for $33.99. This could very well be an exclusive.

- - - - - - - - - -

Rant.



I wish more DVDs would have galleries of production artwork. Above is the vampire castle, outside and within. Lately that option as gone by the wayside.

And when it does happen, it's so limited, you're lucky to get twenty images.

My cinema collection from the 1990s was in laser discs, hundreds of titles were bought. Many of them special collector's editions. These puppies had huge galleries. It's not uncommon for a title to have over a hundred stills.

You got the real meat. I remember getting excited about the SE DVD for "Predator" (1987) which came out in 2004. Holy crap, the gallery is only a handful of stills. WTF?



I was quite glad the bonus disc had several images from the production, such as a sketch of Viktor's armor and some great artwork of the weapons used. Good stuff.

- - -

This began as a rant; was talking to a childhood friend (I've known him since it was called Junior High), the dumbing down of society. It started with the talk back section at Ain't It Cool News, they had a regular behind-the-scenes pix, nearly daily. This one was for "John Carpenter's The Thing" (1982). Two commented on lending out their DVDs ("The Thing") to young horror fans (in their twenties).

Yes, this is off topic - indulge me. You'll understand in few.

Their statements bugged the hell out of me. Made me mad.

Borrowed my copy to a younger (20s) "horror fan," who was all about the Resident Evil series. He returned it a couple days later. He said it was, "Too slow," and there was "not enough action" so he couldn't finish it. What the **** is wrong with this little ****? I saw this film when I was ten or so and it kept my rapt attention.

- The Gmork

and

Yeah, I lent my copy to a 20-something at work after admittedly having talked it up a bit... they had the same *bored* reaction.

- 6000 Little Griglets

Saw the film when I was nine years old at a drive-in (remember them?), freaked me out. I never thought of it as boring or not enough action. It was just awesome. It was one of the first movies I saw on video when I got my VCR in 1985 (the first belongs to "Timerider: The Adventure Of Lyle Swann" [1982]). It's been a part of my life ever since.

*sigh* Lack of attention. Why?



Why can't you sit down and just watch a movie? Must you be multi-tasking? I really like adult film starlet Kayden Kross, she's attractive and smart (being serious, not a flippant remark). But watching her on her former online show... put down the cell and talk to your co-host! You don't need to check, every single second - made me want to scream. She's a social media addict.

I was a fan of the horror podcast, "DeadPit" with hosts, Uncle Bill and the Creepy Kentuckian (no longer; each got married have different lives). It's from Kentucky (very anti-PC). UB told this story a couple times before. How he showed one of his younger kin "Dawn Of The Dead" (1979). And he thought it was a comedy. That pissed him off as it did I.

So?

Writing this entry, got curious - did some digging; theatrical stats - motion picture run times, not lengths for unrated versions, strictly theatrical. How most folks saw the movies in the first place.

"Underworld" - 121 minutes
"Evolution" - 106 minutes
"Rise Of The Lycans" - 92 minutes
"Awakening" - 88 minutes

Frack me!

First film came out in 2003, the last in 2012. In the span of nine years we lost thirty-three minutes of story. That's depressing; if it can't catch the attention of people on ADD meds, then it's a box office failure? Holy crap, eighty-eight minutes - that's like a TV movie length. Plot matters!