Past Tense - The Damned And Absurd Part I


[An earlier version of this PT was originally posted on July 26th, 2015 on JoBlo's "DVD, Blu-Ray & Home Theater Discussion" forum.]

It was just a slight pause as you blinked, eyes closed a beat longer than it should. Didn't quite register at the moment, but that half pill was starting to hit your system, gently tugging you to slumber land. The devil dogs were now in the house. From the safety of the panic room you witnessed six of them scurry about the home - sniffing the air, looking for your scent.

With that knowledge, you looked on the wall to see your weapons; three bows and a ton of arrows (for months you had taken up the challenge to be adept in usage, adept enough. As well as a series of metal swords. You had brought with you, your Conan replica long blade when you snuck into this sanctuary.

The first idea was getting guns, but because of state laws it would be difficult, legally. So you decided on old school weapons; each of the arrows had steel serrated tips - made for kills.

And there it was again - that same chupacabras/dog, whatchamacallit stood up sniffing the air in the kitchen. And that's when your blood went cold.

You took the precautions, legal or not to remove the blinking lights from the cameras; not covering them, took them out. Nobody would be the wiser, knowing when they were 'on'. Plus you made them hidden. Yet this beast is looking RIGHT at the cam as if looking... 'I found you'. Then it gave a sickening smile with jagged, discolored teeth exposed.

In the background four of them leave the room into the rest of the home, hunting.

You remembered the screams that happened last time with neighbors - so you opted to put audio level indicators on the displays instead of live feed mics. You do have them for the speakers, but they're off for good reason. Keep your nightmares to a minimum. The levels were now spiking on each of the outside cameras. The devil dogs were inside your neighbors' homes; attacking and murdering. A lot of shrieks.

Then eyes back to the kitchen. The fiend had moved far more closer to that camera, unblinking. Almost like it could see you, but couldn't find that location in the home. Was this the same beast who tried to eat you last year?

Another monitor showed two of them had found your bedroom and were tearing up the mattress and knocking stuff off your dresser; being malicious or just dogs? Other beast were looking into rooms and examining all available spaces - reminded you of marines making sure an area was unoccupied. And onto the next room. Holy crap this is really happening. These monsters had learned from their last sojourn.

In this melee you had left your eyes from the kitchen screen - that brute had left the room, where? The other seven screens didn't show it, The Alpha. Where is it? Then a disturbing thought popped in your head... was it deliberately avoiding the other cameras, being stealth? Did it tell the two other dogs to go into your room to trash it - so you would give attention to them, away from the kitchen?

That Devil Dog is hunting your location and has a grudge. You give out a long yawn. It's now close to one AM; things are going to get interesting.

Welcome to week two of "Limited Edition Horror" 2020; a three parter! This outing we get encircled by the undead, made possible by shameless corporate greed in "Resident Evil: Extinction"...



The motion picture opened on September 21st, 2007. It was made with a budget of $45,000,000 (estimated) and grossed over $49 million during its U.S. theatrical run; counting foreign receipts it made $147,717,833. The film opened number one at the box office, the following week it dropped to number three.

The feature opened against "The Bourne Ultimatum", "Superbad", "Dragon Wars" and "Mr. Woodcock".

This release originally came with an non-embossed, foiled, cardboard slipcover which mirrored the case's wraparound. There was a single, double sided insert; A) extolling the virtues of Blu-Ray, B) advertisement for other Sony Pictures Home Entertainment BD titles.

- - -

There were four exclusives.



Best Buy offered on street, January 1st, 2008 something utilitarian; small, army tote bag. This set sold for $16.99. It could be bought separately for $6.99; there were a minimum of ten per store. It measures 14 1/2 x 8 inches.

The text on the flap reads "Resident Evil: Extinction". I still have mine inside the wrapping, haven't open. It's pretty big consider it was mostly free. Why sealed? I paid more than just greenbacks for it - paid in misery.

That tote has a dear place in my collection.

During the final week of December 2007, I developed an abscess. For almost five days I experienced a pain I NEVER want to repeat in the rest of my days on Earth. A small silver lining was that my face wasn't comically swollen, couldn't tell I was hurting bad.

I will never again laugh at sitcoms, folks with tooth aches. Been there, done that. Ended up getting - not one, but two root canals (with crowns) as well as a filling. The damage was $1,700 and I got off lucky. Blogger John Campea paid over fifteen hundred... for ONE tooth.

So?

I was suffering; before getting the work done, I was taking antibiotic pills to kill the infection. Even with all that pain - I still went to Best Buy. Was there that Tuesday, got the exclusive and back to the car; examined the DVD. It was scratched.

I still remember...

Waiting in line for an exchange, trying not to draw attention to myself. Man, that was horrible. I got my exchange, it was mint. One of the members of this forum offered me twenty-five dollars for it (plus shipping) on January 4th, 2008. I didn't sell. That exclusive was acquired through sweat (was running a fever too) and torment.

Don't think I'll ever sell that. It's place in my collection is a testament to my nature and commitment to collecting. Just read about my disposition when I bought "Revenge: The Complete First Season".

The next item came from GameStop also on street, a bonus disc (available on pre-order).



Sorry, do not know how much that bonus cost. This was something I acquired in May of 2008. It came in one of those slim CD cases and was separate. You had to ask for it from the clerk at the time, who had it behind the counter. This was kindly bought from the same fellow collector who got me those exclusives for "Cloverfield". He had an extra copy. And was the same guy who offered to buy the tote.

There is no menu screen shot - just plays. It has two featurettes which play back-to-back; "The Players: The Cast of Extinction" and "Resident Road Map: Reflections On The Future Of The Series". This has a total time of 26:37 minutes, presentation in widescreen. It should be noted that these two extras appear on the Region 4, Australia release.

For the longest time I thought this there was one featurette as I stopped seconds before it ended. It wasn't until March 10th, 2015 that I discovered the hidden extra. Super sway! *nods* Anyhow, not be left out, Wal-Mart had their own bonus, an extra disc.

But don't get all excited. It was the same. Huh?



The department store offered "Exclusive 2-Disc Limited Edition" DVD set. What is it? A digital copy for your PC or PSP. This expired on April 2nd, 2008. Yeah, a real short window. This came with a foil slipcover which mirrored this wraparound. I can only assume that it also came with an additional insert with DC instructions. Sorry, don't have a clue how much this cost. I recall seeing it, but had no interest - same extras.

Disc One was the movie and digital copy. Disc Two had the same bonuses, relocated.

And there's where it originally ended.

But like the undead, they keep getting back up when you least expect.