Past Tense - Catch The Blue Wave Part I


Another band new entry and quite unique - in the nine years I've done this (current and previous iteration), never did a write up for such an exclusive. This outing were gonna be talking about a parody, a porn parody that was "Maxine" (1988)...



This shot on film XXX feature came out in 1988. My data is quite limited. Have no budget stats or box office numbers. Yes, this was shown on the big screen back in the day at Pussycat Theatres. Many moons ago porn was show in specialty theaters. Can't imagine how terrible it was to be the clean-up person in between screenings. My city had one in the downtown area; was in business till the early 1990s.

I have some data, can tell you this came on DVD on April 30th, 2002.

It streeted against (yes, keeping it clean) "After School Asians", "Booty Talk 26", "Covergirls 3" and the double feaure "Totally Nude Yoga & Tai Chi". I have "Totally Nude Aerobics" by the way, directed by Ron Harris.

This is a Manufacture On Demand release; official DVD-R. There was no slipcover or insert issues.

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Look guys, I wrote a lot - not so much on the exclusive itself, it's hard to find info. That's why it's in three parts.

As stated, this came out on DVD in 2002 - it is an exclusive to the adult video (DVD and BD), marital aid and lingerie online store, Excalibur Films. NOW don't think it, unless you're over eighteen. Play nice!

Man did this title took me days to research. So little is availble online, bits here and there - collating the relevant trivia. The most obvious bit went over my head - why is this an exclusive?

The blue movie was released in '88 from Excalibur Films, the same company who reinvented itself as an online adult store (no longer making skin flicks). So it makes sense that they would hold this as an exclusive.

I ordered the DVD through the mail on February 3rd, 2021 and arrived on February 12th. It was sold for $8.94, but has an original retail price of $19.95.



I've been a great fan of the ABC TV show. I own the complete series on DVD that was released from Shout! Factory in 2010 for $49.97. The first pressing came with a lenticualar slipcover and an insert booklet; episode guide and extras listing. Hell, I even have the limited, foil trading card sticker set from 1986, thirty-three cards from Topps/Chrysalis.

Man, I highly recommend this science fiction series. But know what year you're getting. You want the '10 release. The box set was re-released in 2020 with a lower price, $34.99. They made it so by taking out the fifth disc (where the extras were) and removing the slip and book. It's basic. Don't fall for the reduction.

The set includes an episode that didn't air on ABC during its original run.



Yes - at one point in U.S. history, before home video - if you wanted to see a porno, you had to have a projection room; old school home theater OR go to your local Pussycat Theatre. That was it. Above is an image from 1973; Fairfax, California. The song "Girls On Film" by Duran Duran pops to mind. God, all the seats must have been gummy. *shutter*

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Rant.

Like I wrote, I am a fan of the show. At the time I was a teen, having my mom rent for me movies on tape from the local video rental shops. I had the cinema bug back then too. Back then video stores didn't often have an adult section. So they had 'the binder'. A binder filled with cut outs from VHS slipcases, the front. Flip through the binder and rent XXX titles that way. One day I saw this open and my mom was looking elsewhere so was the owner. It was open to that page.

Teen me: "Max Headroom has a porno? I want to see this."

But couldn't was underage, the end.

The time is 69 minutes into the future and there's been a dramatic increase in population copulation. Enter Allison Karter, ace investigative reporter for Network 30 [XXX]. Ms. Karter quickly discovers that the culprit is the SexVerts being aired on her very own channel. But, in head of her investigation, she is captured by a goon squad sent after her by the SexVert advertising conglomerate. They commence to take erotic advantage of her till Alllison is in a state of sexual delirium. Network 30, fearing the loss of ratings if Allison Karter doesn't come around, decide to dump her memory into their mainframe - and she begins the erotic computer life of her alter-ego, Maxine Bedroom!
- VHS back cover

Well... that sounds kinda rapey. Things were different back then.

Okay, lets break this plot into non-porn, normal speak...

Network 30's premier reporter, Allison Karter (Porsche Lynn) uncovers a conspiracy at her work over gaining additional ratings by having erotic zipped commercials (subliminal manipulation) to keep people watching (and get frisky), plus add new viewers. The increase in ratings was so out of the norm, Karter investigates. Before she can broadcast her story, Karter is kidnapped by network executives; Helena Rox (Sharon Mitchell) and Blaze Packard (Robert Bullock) who want this kept a secret. Their plan backfires as she is incoherent from their attempt to intimidate.

Thinking on the fly, opt to make her into a virtual copy of her to keep up appearance and to have this duplicate under their thumb. It also backfires badly. Her digital copy, Maxine Bedroom can't be commanded even as they attempt to out maneuver and assassinate their creation. Maxine promps nationwide shenanigans and helps Allison back to her senses to expose the network for their nefarious scheme.

Now this sounds like a serious plot. A serious plot in a porno! Yeah, you're gonna be disappointed. This is pretty much a meat and potato blue flick. It's a decent-ish homage to the vanguard cyber punk TV series, "Max Headroom" (1987). Which I'll get into in a few.

Over the years tried to remember the name. For decades thought it as "Maxine Bedroom" or "Maxine Legroom", no luck. And no luck for good reason. You can't find this anywhere other than from Excalibur Films. Flash forward to late January '21. Was looking for an original retail price on an adult DVD I bought. Yes, I do buy and collect XXX titles; true ownership.

I use their website since they have original prices listed; used for my collection price index. I went wrong and hit their home page by accident. And there it was - the cover pix with the text "Exclusive Classics" under it. WTF? *click* There it is. And is affordable. It was ordered a few days later. Only when doing my research waiting for it to arrive did I discover this is not a pressed disc. Damn it.

Looking about that web page, discovered other exclusives from such 1980s XXX studios as Essex Home Video, AFV, Hollywood Video, Arrow Films, VCA Video, Seduction Productions and a few others. To be honest, not much I want to see. Lots of garbage, "Maxine" being the exception.

Some might recall another blue movie spoken about in the Past Tense for "Bring It On: All Or Nothing" (2006). How finding a lost title to me was NOT a trip down nostalgia. The flick did not age well at all, various shades of cringe.



The 1985 porno, "Amber Aroused" from Caballero. Bought the DVD and regretted it. My would-be memory was far superior to the actual film. Here?

Man, restoring that poster image above took me far longer than I want to admit.

Didn't have much expectations for "Maxine" - it was a product of its time. Yes - it is definitely dated. But still hold just enough nostalgia to be a bit entertaining. Just. There is no menu, it just plays. By the way, Lynn is trying way too hard to act, emote. Acting isn't her strenth.



My biggest grip is that feature wasn't remastered or something, something done to improve the picture. The quality is watchable, but should have been better. It's like it was ported from an old VHS copy, above. Look, this was a big money maker at Excalibur. That said, I made zero effort to improve the image quality. What you see above and examples is what you get.

Their release is practically bare bones, not even the trailer is included.

She talks in stereo, she sounds so good to me.
- Gary Myrick

Another gripe - the movie was shot in stereo, but is presented here in mono. Was the original audio tracks lost? That's bizarre. The only extras are two trailers. Before it starts - has the trailer for "Ten Little Maidens" (1985) and finishes with "Sex Wars" ('85).