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[JohnIan101]

Past Tense - TDTEST Part I


[An earlier version of this PT was originally posted on June 21st, 2012 on JoBlo's "DVD, Blu-Ray & Home Theater Discussion" forum.]

This week we get screwed into a second dark age by idiot logic in "The Day The Earth Stood Still" (2008)...



The motion picture opened on December 12th, 2008. It was made with a budget of $80,000,000 (estimated) and grossed over $79 million during its U.S. theatrical run. The film opened number one at the box office, the following week it dropped to number four.

The feature opened against "Quantum Of Solace"', "Twilight", "Transporter 3" and "Australia".

This release originally came with an cardboard foil slipcover which mirrored the case's wraparound. I'm talking about the 3-disc version; can't recall the single disc edition. Anyhow, the only insert was the instructions for the digital copy disc. Remember when that was a thing?

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This isn't so much an exclusive as it was a freebie.



If you bought the "3 - Disc Special Edition" you could get a metal Gort mini-statue. It's has weight to it. Not an exclusive, you could buy this separately at comic book stores and the like at the time. This promo was available on release day; April 7th, 2009 for $22.99.

There was a minimum six per store, I got mine. My Gort is still sealed inside the box. I guess you could have this on your desk or such. *shrugs* The mini die-cast metal figurine is five inches tall.

The three disc set came with the original 1951 feature film. This is a bare bones presentation, zero extras on the classic. I'll cover that in a few.

One other thing about this set; this title came in one of those eco cases. I HATE those, huge holes - just asking for the wrapaound to get damaged. I have since replaced it with a regular case using the same two disc holder arm inside.

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Rant.

I disliked the movie - a lot.

This DVD is part of collection because of the '51 movie. The remake is barely passable. If the goal was to make it mediocre - mission accomplished!

I'll be honest, it pissed me off. You had all this money for a major motion picture and this is the best you could muster? Really???.

*sigh* Where to begin?



The character of Jacob Benson (Jaden Smith) ruins the feature; my thoughts are echoed by others. This was the first movie I saw Jaden in. My distain continues to grow, he's so punchable.

The kid in the original (Billy Gray) was a bit precocious, quite true. BUT his questions (to the alien) and wonderment is shared by the viewers. He's our voice and eyes. In 2008 we get a whiny, spoiled, obnoxious brat. Man, I wished his mother (Jennifer Connelly; above pix) would spank him. Or put him to bed then as he slept got a pillow and give him a smothering - 'Go to the light, into the light'.

I HATED that kid.

Also didn't care for the new spacecraft, mirrored sphere.



What I liked about the original saucer was its ramp. The walkway formed; the thing slid out, almost like a pre-CGI morph. I also liked how when the door opened on the dome, it parted, not like it was hinged or something slid out. It was an opening/slit that formed. That's damn majestic for 1951. A big shiny hovering ball wasn't impressive. In fact it feels like a cheat. 'We couldn't be bothered design the ship, so... BALL!'

The beginning didn't make sense. I had to read online, explaining that the mini sphere took some genetic material from the 1920s mountain climber to form the later human-looking representative, Klaatu (Keanu Reeves); that exposition needed to be way better or completely removed.

Another big flaw was the mechanical centurion Gort.

Its actions in the '51 movie moves the plot forward and is threatening. Here the machine is nothing more than a large cardboard standee. Then it breaks up into nanites consuming everything. WTF? Where's the machine that could do serious damage; this gray goo was a cop-out. At least 2008 Gort looked like the original one, I'll give them that.

By the way GORT is now an acronym for Genetically Organized Robotic Technology. It's a machine, not living, so what's with the 'Genetically'? Just add that nonsense to the ever growing stupid pile.

Man, did not care for the environmental message - far too in your face.

Klaatu came to Earth to save the planet from humans. How about this - why can't Klaatu give us a better energy alternative (not talking nuclear) than fossil fuel? That would save the environment and the lame ending.

The message in the original was about being caring and using common sense. An end to unneeded violence and atrocities. A greater global responsibility, stewardship - environmentalism would've been a given. This should not have been as subtle as a hammer to the face. There are better ways to get the message across without looking like a douche bag.



I can find better social commentary in "Pornstar Workout" (2009). That cover is quiet feminine. The folks there shared resources and got along quite swimmingly. It's a story of human triumph - we can all work together for a shared goal. Puts a smile on my face and trousers. Man, that's sad, both cover girls, Jenna Haze and Tori Black (holding the weight) have long retired.

By the way, Manson continues to make XXX titles now for HardX and EroticaX. She's an award winning blue cinema director.

Back on topic. The ending was crap on a cracker. Klaatu took away our technology (a global EMP [electromagnetic pulse]), bringing about mankind's second Dark Age. It should've never gotten that far - which I also blame Jacob too.

I'm telling you, a good pillow smothering would've made this a slightly better experience.

I like this quote, it break down the overall problem by Ain't It Cool News commentator Killdozer:

Let's examine the basic theme of the new story: we live, the Earth dies. We die, the Earth lives. Given the statistical probability that planets which are able to host life in relation to self-aware, conscious intelligent life such as we are - probability informs us that WE are distinctly more rare. Klaatu is working on the wrong side. He's attempting to eliminate super-rare organisms in order to "save" a more common type of celestial body. It gets even more ridiculous when Klaatu actually has command over terraforming nano machines that he's mis-using to KILL rather than to HEAL.

Boom!!! There it is. It's a stupid movie that shouldn't have been greenlit until it had a far better screenplay. David Scarpa (screen writer) should be ashamed. Frack, this still makes me angry. They screwed up a classic.

Plus the remake ditches all Christ metaphors. In the original film, Klaatu (Michael Rennie) hiding among the humans took the name of Carpenter. He died and was resurrected to protect us. And left a message for us to be better people.

It was all subtle and I didn't make the connection until rewatching the movie as an adult.