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[JohnIan101]

Past Tense - Thunder Volt Part II


Rant.

Disobedience, in the eyes of anyone who has read history, is man's original virtue. It is through disobedience that progress has been made, through disobedience and through rebellion.

- Oscar Wilde

Think of this movie, made for someone suffering from A.D.D. but played with smarts. Or perhaps, a live action "Grand Theft Auto". Well that and a re-imagining of "D.O.A." (1988), the remake and/or original 1950 if you want.

It did well enough to spawn a sequel: "Crank 2: High Voltage" (2009). Which made the first feel a bit sedate and that's amazing!



Neveldine spoke about a third entry recently, it's expected to happen (filming) next year. Fabulous!

Okay. What the frack is THIS about?

The film centers on professional hitman, Chev Chelios (Jason Statham). He awaken messed up, as if with a bad hang over... it's not.

His hit backfires, not in that way. It's political mob pressure; to save face with the Chinese mafia, his boss (Carlos Sanz) orders Chelios killed. That night, long time rival, Ricky Verona (Jose Pablo Cantillo) injects him with the "Beijing Cocktail".

Chelios is dying. The exotic poison will snuff him by the end of the day; mentally suffer, knowing he's fading away. Bad, bad, bad idea!

Still in the dark, Chelios goes to see his (mob) doctor played by Dwight Yoakam, Doc Miles. 'You're dead. But there is a slim chance, quite slim that you might live through this. There is an antidote.'

'This posion is slowing your heart, you gotta keep it pumping with adrenaline or epinephrine.' Not sure if this will happen, cured - he opts for old fashion revenge on those who murdered him. A single day to do it.

From that point it's practically non-stop, so over the top into cartoon territory. He has to keep his heart pumping with insane, reckless acts. That wasn't a simple statement, I meant it!



Bat$hit crazy to stay alive.

I remember watching this over at a friend's house. Jaws dropping and laughing like little kids, fried gold.

There's a point when Chelios is trying to understand what's being said in Chinese so he ends up reads the onscreen subtitles.

Quite surreal.



A good example is having public sex with his stripper girlfriend, Eve (Amy Smart) out in the open - on the street in Chinatown with everyone watching including a bus full of Japanese school girl tourists. *tee hee*

Or getting into a random fist fight with other gangsters. Or getting a police pursuit and evading shoppers while going through a mall in his car; shades of "The Blues Brothers" (1980).

With all this excessiveness it is his flamboyant gay friend, Kaylo (Efren Ramirez) who steals the show. Never explained why they're friends. Kaylo is a nightclub/party glam boy, complete with pink feathered boa.

He's comic relief, but not in a derogatory way.

Kaylo moves the story and is a loyal sidekick, a good friend.



The conclusion is like a video game, in fact it goes into 8-bit graphics, kid you not. So many are killed by Chelios as he reaches his boss' high-rise home; climaxing in a helicopter fist fight. The ending is somewhat ambiguous. Did he die?

Well there's a sequel, so no.

Something I discovered while reseaching, Statham did most of his own stunts - including the areal fight with co-star Jose Pablo Cantillo (as Ricky Verona) in the chopper. That's pretty amazing.

If you like action movies, there is ZERO reasons why you shouldn't see it. In fact, you should have already.

Man, it was so sway how they brought back Kaylo for "High Voltage", he has a twin gay brother, Venus - with tourettes and knows the martial arts. Such an incredible combo! Laughed so hard at that.

As you can imagine, these movies are on the opposite side of political correctness. As it should be.

One bit of warning, full of shaky cam.

- - - - - - - - - -

Footnotes.

The DVD and BD offers a neat special feature, "Family Friendly" audio. A redub, removing the harsh language with silly crap. The video is the same; gore, nudity and intense action.

The store exclusives are part of the Blu-Ray version which has three additional featurettes, "Pushing Crank", "The Stunts Of Crank" and "Shooting Crank". Too bad that's not DVD, it bugs me.

There is a sway fan made trailer (directed, written and edited by Ben Begley) where El Grincho (yes, now he's a Latino; played by Alex Abbott) has taken Chelios' 'Christmas spirit' by stealing his decorated tree.

Go to YouTube, type in "Crank 3 Trailer Merry Cranksmas" in search. Or if you know how, "3UbZFdegGlQ". It's still there (as of writing), checked. Uploaded on December 24th, 2009 by DinghisKhanComedy.

Doc Miles (Jesse McIntosh) is reasonably sure he can restore his spirit, if he can find his tree in... one hour. Until then Chev (Begley) has to keep jolly and Christmasy. It was more cute than comical, though the Kaylo (Andy Harris) moment was funny.

Renee Dorian plays Eve.

There is even a porno parody, "Cranked" from Bluebird Films (2010), directed by Marc Twain. Sorry, not gonna post the cover - has nudity.

Paige has hours to live. Doc Love tells her she can stay alive longer if she keeps her heart pounding and adrenaline rushing. Paige rungs, fights, and ****s her way across seedy Los Angeles to stay alive long enough to exact revenge on Chilli Manilli.

- DVD back cover

Don't own it, kinda curious; stars Anna Lovato as Paige and Dylan Ryder as Chilli Manilli. Co-stars Bridgette B., Georgia Jones, Paige Ashley, Riley Evans, Sunny Lane, Tommie Jo and Verena.

That's all the action for you get. Come back her next Thursday (September 24th, 2015) for a two parter about special lady with a special secret. And no.

There isn't a "Crying Game" surprise.

Dude, why did you go there?

[JohnIan101]

Best Buy - September 22nd, 2015


The Flash: The Complete First Season
Exclusive Flash/Arrow crossover comic book; DVD $34.99, BD $39.99

Arrow: The Complete Third Season
Exclusive Arrow/Flash crossover comic book; DVD $34.99, BD $39.99

Pitch Perfect 2
Free t-shirt with BD/DVD/DC combo purchase $19.99

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CDs

"The Dead Weather - Dodge & Burn" deluxe edition with exclusive t-shirt $16.99 (available Sept. 25th, 2015)
"Widespread Panic - Street Dogs" with 2 exclusive bonus tracks $9.99 (available Sept. 25th, 2015)

[JohnIan101]

Past Tense - Trouble (The Good Kind) Across The Way Part II


[An earlier version of this PT was originally posted on September 29th, 2011 on JoBlo's "DVD, Blu-Ray & Home Theater Discussion" forum. Too big, have to break this up into two parts.]

Footnotes.

There was some controversy before its release - not from conservative groups, but from the blue cinema industry.

XXX journalist and screenwriter (yes, they have scripts), Gene Ross (formerly of AVN - adult trade publication) was seriously thinking about suing Regency pictures.

???

Copyright infringement, he believed the studio stole his idea. Dead serious.



Penned and produced in 1994 were the shot on video flicks, "The Girl Next Door" and sequel "The Girl Next Door 2", both directed by Mitch Spinelli for Video Team. The two VHS cassettes (later on DVD), starred Lexus Locklear (retired).

Frank Meyer, AVN Online (Associate Editor) interviewed Ross...

It's the same title. It's about the same identical subject matter. They can argue coincidence, but it can also be argued that it's more than that. Mainstream has attacked porn in the courts for ripping off ideas. Maybe it's their turn to squirm.

(Locklear - left, Cuthbert - right)

Ross added that star of the Hollywood film (Cuthbert) has a strong resemblance to his starlet, Locklear. He IS correct, both women could be sisters - a decade apart. But that's a weak argument for copyright violation.

First installment; a girl who moves in next door only to be discovered by her neighbor that she's a porn star. Cue-in wakka chikka wakka chikka music. Similar yarns? Sure. But the second video ditches continuity for an entirely different story involving mobsters. In the end, Ross declined to file.

If he had, his case would've been the very first of its kind. The semi-usual is Hollywood threatening to sue over XXX titles, sounding too much like the real deal.

The Locklear photo I wanted to use was very different; sweet/wholesome. But I couldn't find any Cuthbert pictures that were comparable (body pose and hair style), so I went with sexy.

For the Video Team full page ads I dig up my old issues of AVN (Adult Video News). What I found online was crap quality, ended up scanning. These came from the December 1994 and January 1995 issues. Sure, both videos scored AAA 1/2 out of five.

A sample of potential suits from Hollywood to porn:

"Backside To The Future" (Zane Entertainment Group, 1986), "The Sperminator" (Video-X-Pix, 1985), "Super Hornio Brothers" (Midnight Video, 1993), "Invasion Of The Booty Snatchers" (JM Productions, 2010), "The Texas Dildo Masquerade" (Heatwave, 1997), "Forrest Hump" (Homegrown Video, 1995), "Fast Times At Deep Crack High" (Celestial, 2001), "San Fernando Jones And The Temple Of Poon" (Metro, 2000), "Miracle On 69th Street" (Heatwave, 1992), "Honey I Blew Everybody!" (Midnight Video, 1992), "Muffy The Vampire Layer" (Las Vegas Video, 1992) and of course "Itty Bitty Titty Gang Bang" (Filmco Releasing, 2003).

- - -

Is Ross' claim BS?

James Cameron's "The Terminator".

The director was sued by science fiction writer Harlan Ellison. And won!

He believed that Cameron stole the concept from an episode of the original ABC series, "The Outer Limits" (which he wrote), "Soldier" (September 19th, 1964). Ellison's suit also cited pirated elements from another "The Outer Limits" episode, "Demon With A Glass Hand" (October 17th, 1964). And the classic "Star Trek" episode, "The City On The Edge Of Forever" (April 6th, 1967).

A run down...

"Soldier": A random convergence of events transport a trooper (Michael Ansara) in combat from Earth's distant future into the then present. The man is armed with a lethal ray weapon and an exaggerated instinct to kill. Caught after a disturbance, he is taken into custody for examination. Linguistics expert, Tom Kagan (Lloyd Nolan) gradually learns that this man is quite literally the perfect soldier, breed and taught for one purpose only - destroy the enemy. Kagan befriends the man hoping to learn more and arranges for the soldier's transport to his home. The taming of the savage beast appears to be working until it is discovered that this soldier was not alone, the Enemy (Alan Jeffe) is here as well.

"Demon With A Glass Hand": A man from the 30th century (Robert Culp) journeys to the mid 20th through a time-mirror. He is pursued into the past by the Kyben, an alien race which conquered Earth - in a would be war. The aliens are desperately trying to capture the last homo sapien, to learn where the entire population of Earth disappeared to, on the eve of their invasion. The survivor is also trying to uncover what happened to his people and identity, his only assistance comes from from his incomplete left hand, a segmented computer, housed in glass/clear plastic. When fully assembled it will reveal a great truth.

As for "The City On The Edge Of Forever", Ellison alleged that the scene where Dr. McCoy (Deforest Kelley) time travels back to early 20th century Earth is remarkably like the scene in "The Terminator" where Kyle Reese (Michael Biehn) first appears from the future, down to the same dark, back alley with a disheveled bum on a doorway.

In the end Cameron's camp settled out of court for $72,500. In addition to the reparation, Ellison demanded his name be on the end credits of all existing and future prints of the film. He got it.

The producers wish to acknowledge the works of Harlan Ellison.

So, Ross' claim isn't all improbable. Nowadays nobody really gives a crap. So much of what's made is derivative; fragments, concepts and/or imagery.

Today it has to be such a blatant rip-off to get attention. A note, Ellison made a litigious name for himself. He wrote many of the original notions that have become the foundations of sci-fi cinema and television. And sued everyone he thought used his ideas without consent.

- - -

In 2007 20th Century Fox Home Video gave some of their existing DVD library new slipcovers. This was one of them.



It was a lenticular that reproduces the concept of the original '04 partial. I have replaced the mini slip with the lenticular, looks sway. Wal-Mart sold the re-release for $9.99. No I haven't thrown away that mini slip, it's in a box with other exclusives; exclusives that can't be stored with their DVDs.

At the time I thought this was a Wal-Mart exclusive, the store has a long history of masquerading older titles with new slipcovers - tricking people into buying. It did surprise me; remember that at that time, the store was quite pro-Christian; they didn't carry racy DVDs and sell censored music. They have since toned down significantly.

I was quite surprised when I saw season five of "The Girls Next Door" in 2009 in their stores Times have changed.

That was the former E! series on Playboy life; Hef's then three girlfriends, Holly, Kendra and Bridget. Lot of nudity, lots. Funny too.

- - -

Emile Hirsch's recent actions which landed him fifteen days in jail (sentenced on August 18th, 2015)?

The actor attacked Daniele Bernfeld of Paramount Digital VP, choking her (from behind) inside Tao Nightclub (January 25th, 2015; 3:30AM); so hard, she momentarily blacked out. Both were there in Park City, Utah for the annual Sundance Film Festival.

Besides jail time he got fined $4,750 and fifty hours of community service. What brought it? It appears that he's a evil drunk. He claims he has no memory of it and has apologized to Bernfeld. Since then Hirsch (twenty-nine) has complete alcohol rehab.

- - - - - - - - - -

Easter Egg.

There is a hidden vintage educational short, "Parent To Child About Sex" (1966).

Side B

Special Features -> highlight "Gag Reel", press right; highlight "XXX" - ENTER.

When a boy grows up and is ready to be a father, he is able to put his penis into the vagina [mimics action with fingers]; that special opening mother's have - and when he does this, he can plant the seed that starts a baby to grow.

I see, sometimes his seed ends up on a woman's belly or bosom, her rear or occasionally in her mouth. When this happens, the couple can expect a lesser probability of a baby growing. These actions are shunned by the community and women who engage in such activities are considered 'sluts' and or 'whores'. Though these behaviors increases a woman's popularity among less than reputable men... and women.

Vagina!

- - - - - - - - - -

Just Because.



Above are the DVDs from Japan and United Kingdom. I prefer the Japanese to the U.S. wraparound. I can see it working. Have a clear plastic slipcover with film slate printed - remove it and see Elisha Cuthbert in a bikini or tube top. I would buy that.

That's all for now. On October 1st, 2015 - the annual, Limited Edition Horror begins. See freakish puppets moving, all by their own accord - one frame at a time!