Home Video Exclusives

[JohnIan101]

Past Tense


[An earlier version of this PT was originally posted on December 1st, 2011 on JoBlo's "DVD, Blu-Ray & Home Theater Discussion" forum.]

This week we learn a terrible truth; just as Jessica, Logan and Ben Richards did - there is no haven, especially in Michael Bay's "The Island"...



The motion picture opened on July 22nd, 2005. It was made with a budget of $122,000,000 (estimated) and grossed over 35 million during its U.S. theatrical run; counting foreign receipts it made $162,949,164. The film opened number four at the box office, the following week it dropped to number seven.

The feature opened against "Charlie And The Chocolate Factory", "The Devil's Rejects", "Wedding Crashers" and "War Of The Worlds" (remake).

This did not come with a slipcover, It did however come with a coupon. Save $3.00 on "Saving Private Ryan: D-Day 40th Anniversary Commemorative Edition", "Gladiator: Extended Edition" or "Minority Report" (from November 28th, 2005 to January 31st, 2006). Also save $3.00 on "War Of The Worlds" (remake; from November 22nd, 2005 to January 31st, 2006).

- - -



There was a single exclusive. This came from Wal-Mart, a bonus disc in its own case (packed side by side with the movie). This set streeted on December 13th, 2005 and sold for $19.96. The bonus disc has a run time of 21:09 minutes.

- - - - - - - - - -

Rant.

The feature feels like two different movies mashed together. The first half at the facility has such a modern, sci-fi take on the classic, "Logan's Run" (1976). I wish more time had been spent exploring that world.

It's a fascinating society.

The residents were told that Earth has nearly died. This and one other spot on the planet is uncontaminated, pathogen-free. There is a lottery to see which one of them will move to The Island.



Then we find out that's it is 2019; the lottery is a scam, the controlled community is actually filled with clones of clients outside. Which exist for one sole purpose - body parts, non rejectable organs.

From that point on it becomes an action flick with Lincoln Six Echo (Ewan McGregor) Jordan Two Delta (Scarlett Johansson) being given chase in the real world by private military contractor, Albert Laurent (Djimon Hounsou).

Hounsou did a good job as the relentless heel.

The part that got to me was Starkweather Two Delta (Michael Clarke Duncan), a clone from a football player, Jamal Starkweather, who need his donor organs NOW. Seeing Starkweather struggling in operating table as his operation begins - his death...

That's a fear of mine. Going to a hospital and never coming out. This happened to my dad when I was kid. Well, not LIKE that, but you understand.



The second half didn't bring anything too new. The hover bike chase was different. But it works and the ending is pretty much as you would expect. Which is not a bad thing. The good guys win and the secret of the cloning facility is exposed to the world.

Everybody thought the clones were vegetables in a comatose state, not living in a post-apocalyptic construct.

One of the biggest gripes besides being a Michael Bay film is that "The Island" has a bucket full of product placements. Here.

There.

And here again.

I'm not all that bothered by it. AS LONG as it isn't so blatant. Like a character saying, 'Lets find Jordan and Lincoln, but not before finishing our Starbucks delicious mix blended coffee... so good I savor each and every drop. It gives me the bounce I need each day.'

Yeah, then I would get pissed.



The Lincoln and Jordan of their day; Logan 5 (Michael York) and Jessica 6 (Jenny Agutter) from "Logan's Run".

I like this quote...

Consider the tropical paradise of the island as an allegory for heavenly rewards, and the employees of the facility as allegorical stand-ins for church leaders, and The Island becomes a cautionary tale that we may not actually get what we've been led to expect, and those we entrust with our future welfare may not be as benevolent as they seem.

Those who allow themselves to be led only by faith (at the expense of reason) may be setting themselves up for a fall, and they don't like being reminded of it. At least that's been my experience.

- Jenocalypse

And this...

The movie never satisfactorily comes full circle, and while the climax satisfies the requirements of the second half of the story, it leaves a few questions unanswered. We wonder, for example, why a manufacturing enterprise so mammoth could have been undertaken in secret. Were government funds involved? We don't need to know the answers to these questions, it's true, but they would have allowed Bay to do what the best science fiction does, and use the future as a way to critique the present.

- Roger Ebert

He gave it three stars out of five.

- - - - - - - - - -

Footnotes.

There was talk before the theatrical release about Scarlett Johansson's breasts. The film's poster, modified the star's already ample cleavage. The newer; larger, digital bosoms almost caused the actress to have a car crash.

I was driving through Los Angeles and I look up and see the biggest photo of me I have ever seen in my life on a massive ad space. I screamed and slammed on the brakes. I couldn't believe it. It's very strange to see my cleavage the size of a brontosaurus. My breasts were huge. I had long hair and my goodness, I couldn't get past the cleavage.

- Johansson

Wanna know something that sucks?

Johansson was to do a topless scene, but that got pulled for a PG-13 rating. We all lost here, should've been an R, hard R.

She was willing.

- - -



There was a lawsuit over copyright infringement. "The Island" IS a rip-off of 1979 motion picture, "Parts: The Clonus Horror" a.k.a. "Clonus".

DreamWorks reached a settlement, an unknown amount; terms remain sealed.

Oh yeah.

A few years back it got noticed. Footage of the car blowing up on a freeway from "The Island" was recycled (with additional explosions and CGI robots) for Bay's 2011 film, "Transformers: Dark Of The Moon".



The DVD was re-released with a new wraparound along with a Blu-Ray ($24.99) version (same content) on June 21st, 2011. The DVD sold for $9.97

There was erroneous data; the re-release is NOT a two disc set, it never was.

- - - - - - - - - -

Just Because.



Quite sway. Easy on the eyes, yes indeed; Scarlett Johansson as Jordan Two Delta. Who looks so young in that pix.

Some believe this was the hottest Johansson ever looked. After "The Island" she changed her diet and lost some pounds, among the weight loss were of her breasts. I'm on the fence here.

Come back here on November 26th, 2015 - Turkey Day! Come for a serving of apocalyptic flavored monkey madness.